Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Friday, January 08, 2010

Famous Last Words

Here's the thing. I simply cannot justify blogging when I have not yet found the time to sit at a computer long enough to:

A) acknowledge the dozens of marvelous (and deeply, deeply appreciated) Christmas felicitations I received.
B) finish the edit I owe a certain guy who truly possesses both the patience and wisdom of Job.
C) Send so much as a three-word e-mail response to my best friend.

But here's the other thing(s).

A) Julie has never missed a Thursday at her appointed round.
B) Sariah blogs faithfully despite everything. (Speaking of Job . . .)
C) Jeff writes incredible, inspiring essays in his "free time."
D) Stephanie managed, while sitting at a keyboard, to be funny rather than creepy. (Loved the post!)
E) Even Rob blogged this week. (Possibly one of the signs of the apocalypse.)

What's a buried-up-to-the-eyebrows (read: died-in-the-wool slacker) to do?

How about a contest?

In the spare minutes I find each day (you know where), I've been reading Sarah Schmelling's brilliant: Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook. (I'd put the title in a link for you if I had time to look it up. As it is, might I suggest Google?) Even her front and back covers are funny. They feature Hester Prynne (The Scarlett Letter) Ernest Hemingway, Jane Eyre, and Edgar Allan Poe, among others. The accompanying boxes read:

A) Hester received a piece of flair.
B) EAP will not stop looking at you that way.
C) Ernest took the ARE YOU A REAL MAN quiz.
D) Jane listens to "Hard Knock Life" -- on repeat.

I love it!

The last chapter is a "news feed" that features the last words from classic novels. Three of my favorites:

A) Charles Dickens has done a far, far better thing that he does, than he has ever done; it is a far, far better rest that he goes to than he has ever known.
B) Margaret Mitchell will think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.
C) Jane Austen was ever senisble of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them.

Get it? One more example, then. The news feed from Farworld: Water Keep would be:

A) J. Scott Savage knows for that one brief instant the voice he thought he'd heard belonged to Master Therapass.

Now do you get it? You take a favorite author and pair him/her with the last line (or two) of one of their works. It's not only fun, it's rather addictive. I think I'll play myself.

Now that we've established that I still know my ABCs (through E, at least) it's your turn. Post the best "news feed" you can come up with. Winner gets an acknowledgement on Facebook (and most of you know I almost never post on Facebook, so this is big) and a $10 gift certificate to Amazon.

The chickens are stirring. The geese are revolting. (In more ways than one.) The cats are demanding food or else they're going to show the goldfish how that Circle of Life thing works. The dog is waiting patiently, but rolling her eyes. My mother is wondering why I'm not filling her oxygen tank. (In my defense, she's on a concentrator at the moment, not gasping for breath.) The visiting "kids" are wandering, zombie-like, toward the kitchen. I think it's time to get back on the roller coaster. My apologies to the legions of you to whom I owe an e-mail or six. Try to remember that while erring is so me, forgiving is divine!

Please play my game! I can't wait to see what everybody comes up with!


At 1/08/2010 10:51 AM, Blogger Traci Hunter Abramson said...


You have such a wonderful sense of humor! Thanks for sharing it with us. :)

At 1/08/2010 11:48 AM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

I'll play.

Kerry Blair is like a stone--steadfast and immovable and meant to endure the test of time. All time. Just so you know.

(from This Just In :)

At 1/08/2010 12:25 PM, Blogger Deb said...

Dean Koontz let it go when he finally understood that time is the most "Relentless" force of all.

At 1/08/2010 3:26 PM, Blogger Jon Spell said...

I don't think I'm doing this right, but I do happen to have a couple of books right here...

KB couldn't wait to don her cape and tackle the next case: here's a hint - the word is "Mummy!"
(Am I embellishing too much?)

Mary Shelley was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.

Mark Twain been there before.

At 1/08/2010 4:39 PM, Blogger UTMomof4 said...

John Hershey is slowing down a bit. His memory, like the world's, is getting spotty.

At 1/08/2010 4:40 PM, Blogger UTMomof4 said...

Oops, sorry, I meant John Hersey.

At 1/08/2010 9:13 PM, Blogger Marta O. Smith said...

Agatha Christie has found ten dead bodies and an ulsolved problem on Indian Island.

At 1/09/2010 12:13 AM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

Upon receiving a scathing rejection, Edgar ripped his manuscript into shreds, threw the remnants out the window, and cried, "Nevermore!"

At 1/09/2010 9:12 AM, Blogger Karlene said...

When asked if she was ever going to name a character in one of her books after me, Stephanie Black lifted the snowman mug and smiled, "I am now."

At 1/09/2010 9:18 AM, Blogger Karlene said...

Josi Kilpack, responding to a fan asking how she was going to handle her new-found fame, replied, "I hear it goes well with applesauce."
(Lemon Tart)

At 1/12/2010 5:42 PM, Blogger Tristi said...

Hee hee hee ...

At 1/14/2010 11:40 AM, Blogger Mel said...

(I love all the little "Hester got a piece of flair" ones, too!)

--Stephanie Meyer has been poked.

--Lord Byron took the "Which Rock Star are You" quiz.

--J.D. Salinger has sent NO ONE a friend request.

--George Orwell took the "Which barnyard animal are you" quiz.

--James Joyce is beside the rivering waters of, hitherandthithering waters of. Night!


At 1/14/2010 12:43 PM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

(I'm going to take genetic credit for those last ones. Mel is my sister. I knew she'd come up with awesome ones!)


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