Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I Bet You Thought That I Wasn't Going To Post Today

by Robison Wells

Well, the joke's on you, because I'm posting. And, I'm even beginning to write this blog at 11:58pm. So, even though I won't actually post it on Tuesday, I will have written the very first part of it on Tuesday. Considering my recent track record, that's pretty good.

Speaking of my recent track record, did you notice how we all took two weeks off for Christmas? Well, the truth is that Sariah asked if we were going to take the holidays off and the rest of us bloggers said "Well, yes, of course." And then Rob said "I never blog, so why don't I post this week in place of all you?" And then I didn't post anything anyway. So, even on the week when no one is supposed to do anything, I was still a failure.

I don't have anything important to say. Usually, this means that I'll talk about movies that I've recently watched, but nothing is coming to mind. So, instead, I thought I'd update you on the recent goings-on in the Six LDS Writers world. We'll go by day of the week:

Jeff, as you may have heard, has an agent and writes lots and lots of books. He also is scheduled to have the first mainstream LDS horror novel, and he's starting a contest to determine the title. Your options are: The Work and The Gory, Children of the Promise/Corn, Tennis Shoes Among the Morlocks, Pearls and Poltergeists, Charley (and the sequel, Bride of Charley). The winner of the contest gets Jeff's house.

As for me, you may recall that I'm suffering from a heart infection. Well, I finally went to the doctor today. (I've been putting it off because unemployment + poverty + no insurance = It's A Good Thing We Don't Have Healthcare Reform.) (That comment was for you, David.) Well, I finally bit the bullet and went to the doctor, and was pleased to find that, in exchange for my uninsured enormous medical bill, the doctor gave me a diagnosis of: "I dunno." But, he also gave me some painkillers, so... WHEEEEE!!!!

Stephanie, as you may recall, has a daughter at BYU. So, you might think that Stephanie's update is her daughter is now married, pregnant, majoring in elementary education, and working at the Hogi Yogi. However, if you'd have met her daughter you'd know that she actually spent the Christmas break working undercover for the G-Men, posing as a gangster's doll (or jazz baby), pretending to be soaked with the bar rag and/or stewed to the hat in order to brace a one-way kid's cabbage for the elephant ears before Jasper and his gunsels go to the mattresses with their pineapples. (If you know what I mean.) (I mean she's a narc.)

Julie, as you may have heard, recently got the news that her latest book finally has a cover, but she was worried to hear that it had bubbles on it. However, when the cover was eventually delivered, she discovered that there was nothing to worry about:

Kerry, you may recall, has been doing very respectable things in respectable ways, warming hearts and cheering souls. She continues to do so.

And finally, Sariah. I think I've finally figured Sariah out: she likes to make up health problems so that people feel sorry for her. If it's not a Hirohito Thyroid it's a slipped disc or a heart murmur or a vomiting child. Honestly, don't you just get so sick of people who yammer on about their health problems. Sheesh, Sariah, take a Tylenol.

So, it's time to go to bed--it's hard to sleep with the maddening, gnawing chest pain, but at least it's better than my daily migraines or my ongoing struggles with pneumonia. You people have no idea what I go through. Send me a casserole.

You can follow Rob on Twitter. You really can. I believe in you.


At 1/06/2010 9:23 AM, Blogger Heather B. Moore said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 1/06/2010 9:24 AM, Blogger One Cluttered Brain said...

Rob-You crack me up!
Thanks for the laugh!
That post was very random indeed. Where do you come up with your stuff?
Hope you feel better. And those doctors finally figure out what is wrong with you.
I hope the medicine at least makes you feel better.

At 1/06/2010 9:24 AM, Blogger Heather B. Moore said...

So no migraines with the heart problems? There's got to be a song in there somewhere--my head hurts or my heart hurts . . . never both at the same time . . .

At 1/06/2010 11:20 AM, Blogger UTMomof4 said...

LOL! Great post today! You are really funny. I have to ask, is he really going to publish a horror novel? Obviously the titles are a joke, but I'd love that!

At 1/06/2010 1:29 PM, Blogger Matthew Buckley said...

Here you go.

No quit your bellyaching.

At 1/06/2010 1:31 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

And the really amazing thing is my daughter managed all that without her lucky purple shoes, which need to be repaired.

At 1/06/2010 2:48 PM, Blogger ali said...

Is it wrong of me to laugh? I sure hope not ... Or, well, I guess I could always repent on Sunday :) Cheers!

At 1/06/2010 3:59 PM, Blogger L.T. Elliot said...

I really do follow you on twitter. Belief paid off.

I totally vote for Children of the Promise/Corn. That's a winner, right there!

At 1/07/2010 12:27 PM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

Sheesh, Rob. Take a Tylenol. We both know how effective those are.

At 1/12/2010 2:51 PM, Blogger Julie Wright said...

Hey my recent expensive trip to the doctor during my time of no insurance+unemployment+poverty ended up equaling the response of "I dunno" too! But I got a nifty ankle brace and a prescription for 800 ibuprofin (all other pain meds make me vomit). Man I love the healthcare system! Of course it needs no reform!


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