Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Friday, October 24, 2008

Let's Open the Bidding on this Fine Frog

by Kerry Blair

Anybody want to buy an inflatable frog, personally autographed by six LDS authors you know and love? (Or at least tolerate each and every Tuesday.)

No? How about a dog biscuit that once belonged to Trixie Koontz, sent when Bandi wrote to her to complain about her “dad’s” repeated slander of pit bulls? When Dean Koontz later penned, “I’m sure some pit bulls are very nice…” Bandi and I tore out the page and had it bronzed. Want to buy that?

Okay, how about the chance to name a character in an upcoming installment of Farworld by J. Scott Savage?

Or maybe your dreams run more toward owning a complete set of all ten of Lynn Gardner’s bestselling “jewel” books. Perhaps you pine for all the best romantic (or historical or suspense or speculative) books penned by LDS authors in 2007 – the final nominees for last year’s Whitneys – signed by the authors.

You say your bookshelves are already groaning? Then perhaps you long for a hand-sketched portrait of your child, an heirloom quilt for your bed, chocolate, a Scottish tartan and pin, a set of gorgeous handcrafted note cards, a massage, a terrific professional edit of that book you’re going to finish next month, a how-to-get-published packet from a professional book marketer, a breathtaking set of amethyst jewelry, chocolate, a professional portrait package, a little girl’s “cupcake” dress from a company that sells to the stars, a Stripling Warriors tie, a pottery set handmade by a popular author, chocolate, a home spa kit, a personalized cake, ad time on a super-popular writer’s podcast, two dozen homemade cookies a month for twelve months, two tickets to the Whitney gala – at a table with an author of your choice, authentic Hopi silver earrings, vinyl lettering for your car, or . . . chocolate? Well, we’ve got that!

In fact, we’ve got way more than that!

As you might have figured out by now, this blog is a not-at-all-disguised advertisement for the upcoming Whitney Benefit Auction. Coming to a computer screen near you on November 1, the online event will feature one-of-a-kind items and opportunities: personally inscribed books by your favorite LDS authors (some of which are out-of-print and unavailable elsewhere) and enough manuscript reviews and edits to make any writer (published or hoping to be) swoon. Stop by the Whitney site on November 1 and follow the link to the best site for Christmas shopping this side of the North Pole! You’ll want to check back often because new items will be added every single day through November 15.

But that’s not the only way to get in on the fun. You too can donate to this great cause! If you have a fun item to give or a great skill to offer, please contact me at We’ll even be thrilled to take “ junk” off your hands! After November 1, you will be able to put up an item on ebay yourself and designate 10 – 100% of the sale to go directly to the Whitney Benefit Auction. Contact me and I’ll tell you how it works.

I have to admit that I’ve bought (and sold) some pretty crazy stuff on ebay. Last Christmas I spent seven days obsessing over whether or not I would win a particular bit of meteorite for my husband. I once looked in on the auction for a piece of chewing gum Randy Johnson spit out the day he pitched a no-hitter in Bank One Ballpark. You’ll be relieved to hear I didn’t bid on the chunk of gunk, but probably appalled to discover that I did consider it. I have also purchased trolls for a friend, a 1920-version Monopoly game for a son, a vintage Hot Wheels set for my brother…who I sincerely hope does not read this because it’s for his birthday in a couple of weeks.

How about you? Tell me the weirdest thing you ever bought or sold on ebay or any other auction or yard sale. I’ll enter your name in a drawing for a $10 gift certificate good at the upcoming Whitney Auction. Better yet, tell everybody what you plan donate in the comments trail and I’ll throw in a Fantastically Fun Frog Pack for each person who donates. (Offer good this week or until I run out, whichever comes first. Better hurry, because I have a limited number left.)

Besides, commenting will be good exercise in limbering up those fingers for all the bidding you'll want to do in the weeks to come!


At 10/24/2008 2:55 PM, Blogger Worldbuilder Robin said...

I bought a unicycle at D.I. once; never rode it...

Does that count?

At 10/24/2008 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We (and I say we because my husband asked my permission first,) bid on a Honda Valkyrie motorcycle on EBay ... and won. It was the most expensive item we ever bought over the Internet. Of course he did a thorough Google search on the seller and was fairly confident about his character before casting his bid, but it didn’t reduce the heart palpitations we felt as the transaction went through. It's a beautiful bike.


At 10/24/2008 5:03 PM, Blogger bobtheenchantedone said...

I considered putting my sister up for auction once. "One nine-year-old girl, very cute, light blond hair, big blue eyes. Doesn't eat much. Is housebroken. Will not clean room, make bed, do homework, take out trash, or sweep kitchen floor. Not to be left alone with markers or stickers. Is ADHD and comes with a month's supply of pills."

At 10/24/2008 6:51 PM, Blogger Jon Spell said...

I have a This Just In bookmark personally signed by Kerry Blair, but I wouldn't part with it for a set of golden plates!

My purchases from eBay are pretty mundane: books, CDs, games. I did get a pair of "John Lennon" sunglasses once. This is probably the weirdest book I ever bought on eBay:

(it was a gag gift)

At 10/25/2008 6:00 PM, Blogger Cheri J. Crane said...

I've purchased green jello Olympic pins from E-Bay. They are treasures. =)Best of luck with the auction. I'm sure I'll be bidding on a few items.

At 10/26/2008 12:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm donating at least one set of cards - I can donate junk too?
I just cleaned out my display case, I'm sure there must be something...

I think the dumbest thing I've ever bought on ebay, was an "expired" calendar that I wanted just for the art. So much for good taste...


At 10/26/2008 10:08 AM, Blogger Jennie said...

I've never purchased anything on e-bay, but I get a letter every once in a while from someone who says they got one of my out-of-print books there.
I'll donate a complete set of my Bracelet series to your Whitney sale and throw in a bonus item--I haven't quite decided what yet.

At 10/27/2008 1:16 PM, Blogger Janice said...

I bought an exercise machine for my husband from ebay, a giant foamy alphabet puzzle for my son,N64 paddles for my children...I just realized I've never bought anything for myself on ebay! I'll have to do something about that.

At 10/29/2008 3:30 PM, Blogger Heather Justesen said...

I bought hatching eggs on ebay...nothing hatched, but I think that was an incubation problem. We've also bought several natural gas vehicles from ebay. My husband is always buying odd things there.

I want to donate, I'll have to make a note for myself to get it together and ready to post before the deadline. I'll for sure donate one of my books next year, but it's not in print yet.

At 10/30/2008 8:47 PM, Blogger Paiges' Pages said...


What is the deadline for donations? If I think about itlong enough Im sure I can come up with something. I have a million and one books (well actually that might be exaduarated (sp?) and then again it might be an understatement) but do you only want new ones or will old ones do?


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