Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Richard Simmons Lies

by Sariah S. Wilson

I didn't blog yesterday because my husband found a great deal that King's Island was having (for those who haven't heard of King's Island, it is Cincinnati's local theme park with Nickelodeon as the kid's area and world-famous roller coasters like The Beast and Son of Beast. I say world-famous because an episode of CSI had a roller coaster enthusiast citing Son of Beast as his favorite roller coaster in the whole world) and treated us to a day at the park. The weather was actually pretty perfect for it. I worried about the baby, but while she didn't get the sleep she needed (too much music and lights) even she seemed to enjoy the day.

I did go off my diet, because I'm sorry, but you can't go to King's Island and not get the blue soft-serve ice cream. It is the best. Then they don't really have a whole lot of healthy choices for dinner, so Chick-Fil-A it was. I justified it because I spent about seven hours walking around. That's exercise, right? Right?

We had a fantastic time, got to stay and watch the evening fireworks and then come home. We didn't get in until almost 11:00 and every part of me hurt. As I drifted off to sleep holding the baby some part of my brain thought that I needed to blog. Obviously, that didn't happen.

So I did my exercises this week. People had great recommendations for me in the comments last week. But...I can't go to a gym or out of the house. Any exercise I do has to be here because I try to do them when the baby "naps." Also, the suggestion to find something I like to do for exercise came up. The problem is - I don't really like any sort of exercise at all. Seriously. Inert slug here.

I do like dancing, but I haven't been able to find a dancing type video that is for out-of-shape fat people. Wouldn't it make it so much easier if they would just label the videos like that? This exercise tape is for out-of-shape fat people? Then I would know exactly what to buy.

Which leaves me with Richard Simmons. I know he makes his exercise tapes for out-of-shape fat people like me. I bought his 80s Blast Off video thinking I might at least like the music. Unfortunately, I only recognize two of the songs.

I like the Simmons videos because he makes a point of having out-of-shape fat people in his videos. It's the sort of thing where you think, if that 500-pound woman in the back can do this routine, so can I.

Richard shouts all sorts of encouragement during the video. He's informed me that I am "number one" and that I am "going to have fun." Bah. Lies. I do not feel stronger. I am not on the highway to health. I am not his best friend.

And yet...I still find it strangely compelling. He is the ultimate cheerleader, and I like him much better than those size zero women with their blonde extensions who do videos and gasp about how easy the workout is.

At my weekly weigh-in this week I lost...6.2 pounds. I know this is an aberration from starting the program, but that was pretty exciting! I don't expect to lose that much this week. I'm hoping for two pounds a week. I think that's pretty reasonable.

So how did everyone else do? Did you meet your exercise goals this past week? My goal for this upcoming week is to exercise five days. Please report on how you did in the comments and let us know your goal for this week.


At 9/02/2007 12:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met my exercise goal, which was to walk for more than 30 minutes four times this week. Well, I didn't go on a walk on Thursday, but I did do half an hour of vigorous housework because the missionaries were coming over, and then I bicycled over to the library, which was more strenuous than I had expected. All that's probably more than equivalent to a half hour walk, don't you think? And I was pretty good about the sweets until the weekend ... the leftover cake just pulled me in! And the chocolate! But the scales this morning said that I had lost 800 g, which is about one and a half pounds, which I simply can't believe, even though I weighed myself twice. I'll bet I get on to-morrow and have a completely different number -- one that's much higher up.

I just have to tell you that it really does help to have somebody to be accountable to, when you've got goals like this. You really do say to yourself, "I should get up and do something because I have to return and report at the end of the week." So thanks for this opportunity!

Melanie Goldmund

At 9/02/2007 1:51 PM, Blogger Tristi Pinkston said...

I like the fat people in Richard's videos too. :) I have about eight of his videos and enjoy doing them -- when the kids let me. See, when my daughter (my oldest) was born, she set a precedent. She would scream bloody murder every time she saw me try to exercise (starting at two months) and since then, all the children have interfered in any way they can. If they're asleep, they wake up. If they're awake, they run between my legs, or worse, wrap themselves around my legs. Or they stand right in front of the tv so I can't see if I'm supposed to be on my left foot, or my right. Or they whine and complain about watching "their shows" instead. Or, what's even worse, is they sit there and stare at me. Do you know how unsettling that is, to have four children sitting there, staring at you, and you can only imagine what they're thinking!

Anyway, I like Richard too.

At 9/02/2007 4:00 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

I met my exercise goal. Like you, Sariah, I want something I can do at home. If I had to get myself and my preschooler out of the house and over to a gym in order to exercise, it just wouldn't happen. But after the kids leave for school, I hop onto my Elliptical. I like the Elliptical because I can prop a book on the book holder thingy and read while I exercise. I've been re-reading Harry Potter books which works great because they're fun and interesting but require no concentration since I've already read them all.

At 9/03/2007 12:02 AM, Blogger Karlene said...

King's Island! I loved that place. I grew up in Lexington KY. I got to go to K.I. the first summer it opened up, and multiple times each summer after that until I went to college. I'm not so into the rides now, but when I was a teen it was fabulous. We went there for our senior graduation party.

As for exercise, my daughters swear by Dance, Dance Revolution. I've never seen it but they say it's so much fun they don't realize they're exercising.

At 9/03/2007 2:46 PM, Blogger Karen Hoover said...

I did NOT meet my goal last week, for various reasons that were legitimate at the time but now sound like nothing but a stream of excuses. Exercise is my focus for the month of September and I want to go five days a week for at least half an hour. I'll have a better report next time. Thanks for the support group, Sariah. I really think it will help.

At 9/04/2007 9:45 PM, Blogger Sariah S. Wilson said...

Thanks so much for reporting in everyone, and go team go! You guys are doing great!

I have to admit that food-wise this has been a difficult week for me. First, there was the ice cream at King's Island. Then there was angel food cake for Family Home Eating (as my 5-year-old calls it) and then tonight we ordered Domino's and I went a little, how shall we say it, berserk.

So...I will try to be better this week on the food thing. It's getting a little out of control again.


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