Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Friday, July 13, 2007

Want a Piece of the Frog Family Fortune?

by Kerry Blair

Some people seem to live most of their lives under a rock. Our Dear Frog, alas, is one of them. But at last he has heard about the Whitney Awards and how desperately funds are needed now to finance promotion at the upcoming Book Sellers Convention. Because he firmly believes in putting his money where his heart and long sticky tongue are, The Frog hauled his safe up from the depths of his muddy blog bog and opened it wide. After digging out his life savings -- and realizing it was only twenty bucks -- he decided to use the rest of his vast treasure to help support such a worthy cause. (Frankly, he hopes that if all the appeals to your philanthropic, generous natures have failed, then perhaps you can be bribed.)

The twenty bucks (aka life savings) will be sent to the Whitney account, of course, but the rest of the fortune is up for grabs for co-donors. Well . . . he probably won’t part with the ancient Egyptian sarcophagus or heirloom diamond brooch – things you can’t see very well in the picture anyway. (On the other hand, he just might! How much are you willing to donate?) But those Gooey Yummy Gummy Bugs? Well, heck yeah! You get that! The Frog will throw one bug into every Fantabulous Frog Fun Pack along with an Official Frog Fan Club Badge, magic writing stick (guaranteed to cure writer’s block), endlessly entertaining hopping frog (to amuse the kids/dog/cat/spouse so you’ll have more time to write), high-energy lollipop to keep you going at that computer all hours of the day and night, notepad to keep track of ideas for that next NYT bestseller, pen/bookmark/ruler thingie that no self-respecting Homo sapien should be without, Amazing Frog Action Figure (not available in stores; no, not even WalMart), and an autographed photo The Frog himself. And if you you prefer, he’ll even send you an electronic version so you can Photoshop yourself into the shot, thereby impressing all your friends and associates. But wait! It gets better! For donations that exceed his own $20, he’ll throw in an endorsement for your next book and/or tell you his real name so that you can bestow it on your next child. Finally, if you become a silver or gold sponsor, The Frog will mail himself to your house and kiss you. On the lips. (You have to send pictures.)

Don’t miss out on this amazing offer! Every donation of any amount counts! (It helps a lot, too.) And it’s not like we just give these valuable Frog Packs away, folks. (Wait! I think we do give these things away, but not very often and you usually have to work a whole lot harder than this to get them!) The Frog will mail out Fantabulous Frog Fun Packs – and himself – through July 20 after which time the offer is null and void. (He’ll be in the middle of nowhere the week after next, pulling a handcart to celebrate Pioneer Day. Little known fact: The Frog’s ancestor emigrated to Utah in the pocket of Orson F. Whitney himself.)


Another thing: The Frog apologizes for not making an appearance on the Fourth of July. (Thanks to those who wrote to ask about his well-being. You are true friends, indeedy.) It turns out he was camping with the Blacks. In fact, when the picture was taken of the wereraccoons, he was behind the little devils, sneaking up on them with a stun gun and butterfly net. Unfortunately, he didn’t show up very well in the murky picture, so his heroics went unheralded. (He’s very disappointed Stephanie failed to mention him.)

Okay, in case you missed the big capital letters – and the point of this post – this is your chance to donate to one of the most worthwhile endeavors ever undertaken in the history of LDS literature – and get a fun thank you gift for your generosity.


Tell them The Frog sent you.


15 Comments:

At 7/13/2007 1:39 PM, Blogger Josi said...

Man! I already donated, but I'm gunna donate again so I can get cool stuff!

 
At 7/13/2007 1:39 PM, Blogger Karlene said...

My check is in the mail.

 
At 7/13/2007 2:53 PM, Blogger Marsha Ward said...

Oh yea, my PayPal donation just went through.

 
At 7/13/2007 4:53 PM, Blogger Kerry Blair said...

You guys are awesome! Thanks so very much!

PS to Gary - You're awesome, too. (As you'll see when you follow the link and check the donor columns. :-) Want a FFF Pack or six?

 
At 7/13/2007 6:16 PM, Blogger ChillyGator said...

Kerry, you have an insane amount of really cute frog things in that picture.

 
At 7/13/2007 6:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just love the frog!!! Of course Ill donate, its a great cause!

 
At 7/13/2007 6:40 PM, Blogger Kerry Blair said...

And to think they can ALL be yours for one small donation! Being the trendsetter you are, Chilly, I know you'll want to have the first desk on your floor with an Official Frog Blog Hopping Frog on it!

And did I remember to mention the cool action figure? The Gooey Yummy Gummy Bug? The mosquito-flavored, frog-shaped lollipop? I mean . . . wow!

You haven't signed over your paycheck yet? What if The Frog throws in a postcard from his next exotic vacation? (This last offer good for Chillygators only.)

 
At 7/13/2007 7:02 PM, Blogger Jon said...

I donated a horrible pun, does that count for anything?

--FHL

 
At 7/13/2007 7:02 PM, Anonymous Hilary said...

Well I can personally say that the frog pack is awesome and the donation I made was well worth it!!!

 
At 7/15/2007 4:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gave to Mitt Romney...

 
At 7/16/2007 11:10 AM, Blogger Kerry Blair said...

Umm...good for you, anonymous! Now that your checkbook is open and your generous, philanthropic nature is established, please consider a small donation to yet another worthy cause. (Or go ahead and make a hefty donation. I'd forgive you.)

Optimist that I am, I have fifteen new and improved, never before offered, super-deluxe Fantabulous Frog Fun Packs sitting here on my dining room table. They are signed and sealed and just waiting to be delivered -- to you! If you've made a contribution to the Whitney Awards (or plan to!) send me your snail mil address at kerrylynnblair@aol.com right away. I'd love to get these things in mail today!

Thanks, everybody!

 
At 7/17/2007 1:31 PM, Blogger ChillyGator said...

unfortunately my life savings is about the same amount as the frogs, but who cares about life savings when there are post cards (and exotic vacation stories/pictures) involved?

 
At 7/17/2007 6:29 PM, Anonymous kerrylynnblair@aol.com said...

Exactly! :-)

On the other hand, church-mice types can support the Whitneys (without breaking their piggy banks) by nominating their favorite reads of 2007. Same web site. I even have a contest up on my site for nominators!

 
At 7/18/2007 1:14 AM, Blogger Sariah S. Wilson said...

I don't know if I qualify, but I really want a frog pack. (I too missed the frog on July 4 and worried about the poor guy.) I have sent my $20 via Paypal.

 
At 7/21/2007 4:19 PM, Anonymous Jennie said...

Kerry, I just got back from vacation and am doing a quick catch-up on e-mails and blogs. I sent a check before I left, does that still count? By the way, the May Family Ranch up near Challis Idaho is a fantastic place for a family vacation. I caught the biggest fish and also collected the biggest bruise (I fell in the river while helping to get our raft out)

 

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