Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Guest Blogger: Spencer McKay

Robison has traveled to the deepest jungles of Africa to hunt The Most Dangerous Game. In his absence, please welcome one the newest and brightest authors in the LDS fiction market, Spencer McKay. His new book has been getting rave reviews. Today he describes this acclaimed work, and gives his thoughts on writing.

Greetings fellow literati! I'm appreciative of the invitation to speak with you today. While my novel isn't exactly the same kind of thing you authors write, I do feel a sort of kinship with you. We're all passionate about our craft; we all yearn for the soft, gentle sound of pencil caressing paper; we all know the joy of a surprising anacoluthon--could we not love it?--as well as the despair and anguish and frightened terror of well-placed polysyndeton.

Yes, like many of you, I have literature in my blood and grammar in my bones. It was this burning passion, this uncontrollable drive to create that led me to my novel. It took years to write. There were times when I turned my eyes skyward, crying to the heavens and pleading with Sweet Mercy Above, desperately asking "Why was this writing talent, this sweet gift and devilish burden, given to me? Let me have peace!" Alas, there was no solace for my driven soul until I tore my heart out of my chest and let it bleed onto the page.

(To date, no publishers have dared to print this masterwork; the book is far too realistic, plumbing the depths of the human existence, and those charlatan editors fear the public outcry! Consequently, I've published it on my own. Printing individual, unbound copies on my desktop printer only adds to the gritty realism.)

Thus presents The Friberg Code, a gripping novel of intrigue and desperation, and entirely devised from my own genius and a diabolical Muse.

The story begins like this: Kitty DeAngelo is a research assistant at BYU-Idaho, studying ancient linguistics. Unlucky in occupation and unluckier in love, Kitty spends her days in the cold, drafty library and her nights alone by the window, watching the snow swirl and drift on the wretched streets below. Oh, how she longs to be back in American Fork, Utah, with her former high school sweetheart--now Special Agent Jack Handsomeson. But that was long ago. Oh, so very long ago.

Jack has problems of his own, however. A recent string of murders has occurred across the country, connected by only two things: the victims are muscled, body builders, and their lifeless bodies were arranged into strange vignettes. Jack, though his life in the FBI has jaded him to his former faith, still can remember the pictures he used to see in church, and recognizes the crime scenes: a dead old man between two dead leopards; a dead George Washington look-alike by a dead white steed. When he finds a dead muscled man on top of a city wall--and without a single arrow wound in his body!--Jack fears are confirmed.

Meanwhile, Kitty has stumbled onto a terrifying truth: a secret organization has been hiding ancient mysteries which the academic community had thought lost to the world. What are these mysteries? (SPOILER ALERT LOLZ!) The organization is comprised of no less than the greatest minds of the last two millennia: Rene Descartes, Kaiser Wilhelm, Lil Abner, Art Garfunkel and more. And--dare she think it?--was there a living Grand Secret Chairman of The Sacred Committee alive today? Was it... Arnold Friberg?

Well, suffice it to say that things go from bad to worse. There's a car chase through the Louvre, a knife-fight atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and someone burns down the Reichstag.

In the end, the truth is revealed, the truth that can change the world and bring us all together as one! That truth: King Arthur was a Mormon.

P.S. Jack gets active in the church and marries Kitty in the Vernal Temple (after the dramatic climax at Dinosaur National Monument). Jack's boss, hard-bitten cop Frank Gruntleson, gets baptized. Arnold Friberg escapes in a hot air balloon, to fight another day.


At 7/10/2007 3:33 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

I'd like to order twenty copies to give out as Christmas gifts.

At 7/10/2007 3:46 PM, Anonymous meanaunt said...

I'd like to nominate Spencer McKay for a Cannon. Either the prize or the thing that shoots.

At 7/10/2007 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the--?

I'm with meanaunt.

At 7/10/2007 4:05 PM, Blogger Jon said...

Am I stating the obvious here, or is Spencer McKay a pseudonym of Mr. Wells?

Well, except for the fact that he probably doesn't know a comma-splice from an accomplice, it couldn't be him (or his buddy.)

Say, I guess it rains down in Africa.

At 7/10/2007 5:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The conspiracy here is astounding. I have devoted most of my life to uncovering the truth behind Arnold Friberg but have been rebuffed at my research attempts. I contacted Mr. McKay and received a copy of his book and was astounded at his research and the truths that are brought out in his book.

It is no wonder that the publishers refused to publish this work of fact-based fiction. I'm surprised Mr. McKay has lived to offer even self-published copies of this book. I wouldn't doubt that those who attempt to discredit him and his work are actually friends of a very strong influence in the LDS community who want to keep him on the outskirts of society.

Regardless, Mr. McKay's work uncovers the truth behind what some of us have feared to be true. Mr. Friberg's association with The Sacred Committee is a terrifying thought and one can only imagine what other secrets he has hidden in his paintings that have been distributed throughout the world by unsuspecting missionaries. Where this actually ends is anyone's guess.

At 7/10/2007 7:13 PM, Blogger Jeff Savage said...

Am I the only one who is thinking we should dump that Wells blackguard from the blog and replace him with this true arteest of the word?

Who's with me?

At 7/10/2007 7:38 PM, Blogger Rebecca Talley said...

I'm breathless. I've suspected this all along and now, Mr. McKay has confirmed it.

How can I buy this work that will change all of humanity?

At 7/10/2007 9:17 PM, Blogger Tamra Norton said...

I can't wait to get my hands on The Friberg Code. McKay's first masterpiece, Enriched by Love changed my life and even strengthened my marriage and testimony. His writings move me in ways it's hard to describe. We're talking way better than any episode of CSI Miami or Family, Home and Personal Enrichment meeting--even the ones in Utah.

Go Spence!

At 7/10/2007 9:58 PM, Blogger Tristi Pinkston said...

I have always wondered what was up with Friberg -- and now I know. Where has McKay been all my life?

At 7/11/2007 9:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get your year's supply, do your home teaching and be sure to drink your ovaltine? Isn't that what's on the cover hidden inside the Friberg pic? Click on Mr. McKay's cover and read for yourself. So is this guy for real? Did he really self-publish a poser novel? Is this a farce? If the novel reads as melodramatically as this post, there's no other possible answer. Right? Please tell me this isn't a serious novel. Please. Please. Please...

At 7/11/2007 9:41 AM, Blogger Josi said...

Just this vague description has left me weak and pining for sustenance. My mind is a whirl of unconnected thought and fearful recollections of my own attempts at uncovering such truth. Alas, I dare not read the full version--afraid of the discoveries I might make and the disillusionment it may create in regard to all other works of fiction.

The only thing to fear is Handsomeson himself.

At 7/11/2007 9:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Handsomeson...that's funny!

At 7/11/2007 12:18 PM, Blogger pwells said...

This is what happens when you cross a genius. Friberg fought the government for years, but they finally tore down his house and studio and ran I-215 straight through them. I guess he snapped and turned to the dark side.

At 7/11/2007 12:42 PM, Blogger Evil HR Lady said...

Stephanie--make sure I'm on your Christmas list. I want to read it, but let's face it, I'm cheap.

At 7/12/2007 11:39 AM, Anonymous Jennie said...

I'm in total agreement with mean aunt

At 7/12/2007 6:46 PM, Blogger Heather B. Moore said...

Uh, since you just give away the entire plot, can I have a copy of the very very stort version? Unless I'm on Stephanie's Christmas list.

At 7/08/2008 5:24 PM, Blogger Maureena said...

Oh boy! and I thought Rob was going to do something serious! what was I thinking?!


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