Tis the Season to Be Offended

I received a link to a really fun little movie which will soon be entered in the LDS film festival. It reminded me that once again we are smack dab in the middle of the offend-me season. You know the one where the HOA members are offended by the peace sign in the middle of the woman’s Christmas wreath. The one where every other night you can see a news story about someone putting up a public nativity scene and someone complaining about it. The one where Christians are planning on picketing stores which say happy holidays and non-Christians are picketing the ones that say Merry Christmas. I learned recently that lots of people are offended by the Happy Feet movie. I want to be offended by it, but I don't seem to get out to many movies lately. But I AM offended by another Rocky movie coming out. I can just see all these poor little kids going, "Mommy, why is that man throwing body blows at Grandpa."

This is also the time of year when Newsweek names its person of the year. Which always manages to offend someone. It turns out that I am the 2006 Time person of the year. Of course this offends me no end. Why 2006? I’ve gained about ten pounds. I haven’t published anything in the national market yet. I’m really out of shape and my office is a mess. Why couldn’t they have picked me back in 2002 when I was svelte and running regularly? Or waited till next year, when I see big things happening. I’m just fuming.

This happens with books too. I’ve had several readers tell me how unrealistic it is to have Shandra eat everything and not gain any weight. I can tell it really bothers them. They were probably bothered by Barbie when they were younger too. It really stinks when your doll/action figure gets more dates than you. I’m still not on speaking terms with Aquaman. Lots of writers I know go through the same thing, whether it’s because of what they write, how they write, or even where they write. A recent blogger lambasted my friend Josi Kilpack because of a picture showing her writing on a tropical beach. Too bad the blogger didn’t know that Josi does almost all of her writing while juggling a house-full of kids.

Then we can get offended because some author or another got a perk we didn’t. (Like that unabridged book on tape Rob grrrr.) It’s easy to see that our books would sell MUCH better if only we got the radio ad or the prime catalog spot or the better signings.

Of course offending people can have positive benefits too. Lots of people who would never read Anita Stansfield rushed out to buy one of her previous books when Deseret Book refused to carry it. And how many copies of Da Vinci Code would Dan Brown have sold if it wasn’t for all the controversy around that book? Heaven forbid we all realize it’s fiction.

But see the thing is—people almost never set out to personally offend someone else. Anita didn’t write a book thinking it would get kicked out of DB. I can’t imagine anyone setting out a nativity scene with the idea of getting back at the Muslims. When a Jewish friend wishes me a Happy Hanukah it’s not because he’d mad he doesn’t have a Christmas tree. I want to have a happy Hanukah, and a happy Ramadan. I want Rob to get an unabridged book. I want Sariah to get radio ads. I want Kerry to write by the side of her pool while I have to shovel ten freaking inches of . . . okay, no, that’s just going too far.

So how about we all have a Merry Christmas and a Non-offended New Year. By the way, here is the link to the film.

http://homepage.mac.com/gbatty5/TC36/iMovieTheater128.html

The atheist is played by LDS playwright Thom Duncan—which is funny considering that he takes great delight in offending people. Good job, Thom.