Get Rich Quick!

by Robison Wells

My personal website, which is awesome and brightly-colored, keeps track of all sorts statistical information, including which keywords search engines use to find it. For example, if you went to Google, and typed in "Robison Wells, The Counterfeit", and Google led you to me, then my site would record "Robison Wells, The Counterfeit."

By far, the most common searches are for things like "Robison Wells" or "Robison E Wells" or "LDS Fiction". But I also get lots of stray searches: people looking for weird things, and somehow ending up on my site. A while ago, someone kept Googling "Carrie Underwood Mormon" and winding up on my site--at the time, Carrie Underwood was my favorite on American Idol (which is like, rad to the max) so I talked about her all the time. Once I started getting all these stray searches, I made the official declaration that Carrie Underwood was both a Mormon and attending BYU. After that, the hits started rolling in.

A lot of website marketers like to engage in something called Search Engine Optimization. Basically, they put a lot of meaningless content on their site, full of keywords they want search engines to pick up on. Example: "Six LDS Writers is a great LDS fiction blog for LDS fiction enthusiasts. If LDS fiction is the type of fiction you love, then Six LDS Writers (all six of whom write LDS fiction) is the site for all your LDS fiction needs."

This is all a bit shameless, of course, and certainly not the kind of behavior that you'll ever find on this site. We really only want people to find this site because of the great content, not because we've virtually tricked them into visiting. At no point are we ever going to use common phrases and keywords just so that search engines will direct people here. There will be no "Free pictures of Britney Spears!" here, thank you very much.

For that matter, there will be no references to celebrities of any kind. No Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and their baby. No Angelina Jolie at all, with or without photos. No Paris Hilton. No Johnny Depp. No Brad Pitt. No Nicole Kidman... well, in her case, I'll make an exception, expecially if polygamy ever becomes a commandment again (and, you know, if she joins the church and repents for Eyes Wide Shut).

But there will be no mention of Playstations or Nintendos, nor free giveaways and cheat codes. No Spider-Man 3 trailers. No Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End spoilers. No nude pictures of Jeff Savage (thank freaking goodness).

What will there be? LDS fiction, and lots of it. LDS books, certainly, and LDS authors (as well as Mormon Books and Mormon Authors). No Anita Stansfield, sadly, or Gerald Lund, but plenty of good clean fiction and family-friendly blogging. Occasionally, we might even have something along the lines of LDS doctrinal discussion or even casserole recipes. Maybe even together.

For now, though, all you get is spamdexing. And maybe next time I can think of something interesting to blog about. Doubtful, but possible. Until then: Carrie Underwood is a Mormon; Nicole Kidman is hot; and Jeff Savage is fully clothed.