Getting to Know You
By Stephanie Black
We have, over the course of our e-mail years, been the recipients of approximately 10,459 getting-to-know-you surveys. Thus inspired, my husband created his own survey, a masterful creation that plumbs the deepest depths of our psyches.
Here is his survey, somewhat altered by me to better suit our blog. Come jump up and down on our cybercouch and reveal the truths that define your soul.
Important note: Don't feel like you have to answer every question. Just choose the ones you like and ignore the rest. For instance, you could choose your favorite three or five or ten or fifteen. Or if you're feeling adventurous, by all means, tackle them all!
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be?
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food?
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor?
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use?
5. What time is it right now?
6. At the North Pole?
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner?
8. What is your favorite food-related song?
9. What's the best anagram of your name?
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven?
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.)
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series?
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street?
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife?
15. How many fondue forks are in your home?
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home?
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet?
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid
of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)?
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched?
20. Who is your favorite poet?
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched?
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years?
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of?
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR?
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil?
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader?
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons?
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck?
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx?
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie?
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates?
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird?
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett?
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats?
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky?
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay?
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head.
27. Name the most annoying song of all time.
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word?
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail?
30. Have you ever eaten a snail?
31. Which is more unpleasant?
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be?
33. What is your favorite epitaph?
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish?
35. What's your favorite ancestor name?
36. Who is your favorite fictional villain?
37. What is your favorite music you would least be suspected of liking?
38. What is meant by mamelon and ravelin?
39. Suggest a character name for someone in Sariah Wilson’s next novel. Bear in mind that she is currently writing romances set in Book of Mormon times.
We have, over the course of our e-mail years, been the recipients of approximately 10,459 getting-to-know-you surveys. Thus inspired, my husband created his own survey, a masterful creation that plumbs the deepest depths of our psyches.
Here is his survey, somewhat altered by me to better suit our blog. Come jump up and down on our cybercouch and reveal the truths that define your soul.
Important note: Don't feel like you have to answer every question. Just choose the ones you like and ignore the rest. For instance, you could choose your favorite three or five or ten or fifteen. Or if you're feeling adventurous, by all means, tackle them all!
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be?
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food?
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor?
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use?
5. What time is it right now?
6. At the North Pole?
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner?
8. What is your favorite food-related song?
9. What's the best anagram of your name?
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven?
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.)
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series?
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street?
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife?
15. How many fondue forks are in your home?
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home?
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet?
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid
of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)?
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched?
20. Who is your favorite poet?
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched?
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years?
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of?
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR?
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil?
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader?
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons?
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck?
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx?
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie?
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates?
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird?
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett?
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats?
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky?
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay?
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head.
27. Name the most annoying song of all time.
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word?
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail?
30. Have you ever eaten a snail?
31. Which is more unpleasant?
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be?
33. What is your favorite epitaph?
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish?
35. What's your favorite ancestor name?
36. Who is your favorite fictional villain?
37. What is your favorite music you would least be suspected of liking?
38. What is meant by mamelon and ravelin?
39. Suggest a character name for someone in Sariah Wilson’s next novel. Bear in mind that she is currently writing romances set in Book of Mormon times.
Stephanie Black — 10/04/2006 12:37:00 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
How about if I just skip over the boring parts?
7. Rob Wells
11. The case of the musical Senator's missing milk.
14. Probably white. I personally would want chocolate, but they'll probably go for a traditional white. Odds? 95%, even if it is only his wife in jest.
25. A book.
39. Hermounts. I can see a big strong warrior named Hermounts, named by his father in the hopes that he will grow up to be as big and steadfast as a mountain (Hermounts was a mountain, right?) but his mother keeps slipping up and calling him Hermie. Or Herrie.
Melanie Goldmund
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be?
The Singing Vegetables
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food?
chocolate
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor?
Rob Wells
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use?
Super Grover
5. What time is it right now?
11:03
6. At the North Pole?
Christmas Time
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner?
Stephanie Black
8. What is your favorite food-related song?
Amore
9. What's the best anagram of your name?
Maybe Mean Aunt is an anagram
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven?
Oh yeah
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.) Who shot J.R.
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series?
4004
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street?
Forest (Or Pine Street)
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife? Probably a ghastly carrot cake. None, cake knives are useless
15. How many fondue forks are in your home?
8
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home?
2
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet?
Hissing Madagascar Roach
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid
of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)? 2
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched?
a mouse (and hope it remains the largest)
20. Who is your favorite poet?
Ogden Nash
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched?
I am pleading insanity or the fifth I have a toddler—that show is warped
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years?
0
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of?
snot
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR? TR
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil? Dr Suess
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader? Darth Vader
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons? Nixon
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck? Duck
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx? Rove
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie? Basie
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates? neither
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird? Double neither
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett? Warren
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats? Yeats
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky? Stravinsky
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay? A blue glass bird for my mother-in-law since my boobah-watching child broke hers
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head. Gilligan’s Island Theme
27. Name the most annoying song of all time. The Rose
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word? behoove
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail? Yes, thank you for reminding me
30. Have you ever eaten a snail? no
31. Which is more unpleasant? Hard to say
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be? whining
33. What is your favorite epitaph? Here lies John Bun, He was killed by a gun, His name was not Bun but Wood, But Wood would not rhyme with gun and Bun would.
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish? Not on purpose
35. What's your favorite ancestor name? Ulrich
36. Who is your favorite fictional villain? Sethos (Elizabeth Peters)
37. What is your favorite music you would least be suspected of liking? jazz
38. What is meant by mamelon and ravelin? Nothing relevant to me, the modern major mean aunt
39. Suggest a character name for someone in Sariah Wilson’s next novel. Bear in mind that she is currently writing romances set in Book of Mormon times.
Colin Firthahah
I really shouldn't sign my name to something that later turns out to contain a mistake ...
Hermounts is not a mountain, but a wilderness, full of wild and ravaging beasts. I still like the name, though, and think it would fit a wild, ravaging Lamanite quite nicely.
Melanie Goldmund
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be? one of the old guys who sits in the balcony
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food? chocolate
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor? I love them all the same
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use?
Evil HR Lady, of course
5. What time is it right now? 2:05 Eastern Daylight Time
6. At the North Pole? same
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner? Stephanie Black
8. What is your favorite food-related song?SPAM by Weird Al
9. What's the best anagram of your name? HEAVY DRILL
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven? no
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.) haven't read the second book yet, so I can't say.
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series? 2017
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street? forest
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife? 100%
15. How many fondue forks are in your home? 6
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home?0
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet? scorpion
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid
of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)? 37
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched? mouse
20. Who is your favorite poet? Shel Silverstein
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched? 0
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years?1
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of?a politician
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR? TR
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil? Dr. Seuss
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader? Darth Vader
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons?
Nixon
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck? Duck
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx? Rove
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie? Dooku
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates? Gates
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird? Big Bird
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett? Warren
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats? Yeats
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky? Prokofiev
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay? I don't recall
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head. Funky Town
27. Name the most annoying song of all time. Because I Have Been Given Much
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word? ennui
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail? yes
30. Have you ever eaten a snail? no
31. Which is more unpleasant? both
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be? mooooommmmmmm!, but only between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m.
33. What is your favorite epitaph?I told you I was sick
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish?Hasn't Everybody?
Holy crap. If anyone needed proof that I have too much time on my hands, answering 39 non-sequiter questions is it.
1. Dr Teeth
2. Asparagus
3. Theodosius II
4. Awesome Bison
5. 1.11pm
6. 1.11pm
7. Me, hopefully. Then I wouldn't have to act.
8. Eat it. "Yo, ding dong, man. Ding dong, yo."
9. Rob is swollen.
10. No.
11. The mystery of: what kind of name is Shandra?
12. It's baseball. Who cares?
13. Forest.
14. Carrot. That's what Rebekah would want, and Eric wouldn't care.
15. None.
16. five or six.
17. A giant slug.
18. 37
19. A big fat marmot.
20. I don't know, but I have a lot of least-favorites.
21. Five or six.
22. Zero.
23. The slug things in Peter Jackson's King Kong.
24.a. TR
b. Dr Seuss
c. Ralph Nader
d. Nixon
e. Duck
f. Marx
g. Basie
h. Gates
i. Bird
j. Warren
k. Plato
l. Stravinsky
25. Never have.
26. That one with the da-da-da.
27. Anything by Celine Dion.
28. Copasetic
29. Yes.
30. No.
31. N/A
32. Crying babies.
33. This.
34. No.
35. Orrie.
36. The Coach Driver, from Pinnocchio.
37. Goa.
38. Strategic earthworks.
39. Shiz fo shizzle.
Okay, I can't stop laughing. You guys are hilarious.
I suppose I should take the survey myself, except then I'll have remember what a prime number is.
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be? Kermit the Frog
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food? chocolate
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor? Nikephoros Phokas. I don't know a thing about him, but man, what a cool name.
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use? The Disorganizer
5. What time is it right now? 1:22 p.m.
6. At the North Pole? ask Santa
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner? Jeff Savage, though with a name like Savage, he should be the murderer.
8. What is your favorite food-related song? Grapefruit Diet, by Weird Al
9. What's the best anagram of your name? Banshee Pack Lit
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven? Not sure.
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.) The mystery of how Shandra stays so stinkin' skinny, eating like she does.
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series? Next year . . .
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street? A forest. If I could, I surely would.
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife? White cake with apricot-vanilla filling. 62 percent odds on the stabbing--higher if Felix is invited.
15. How many fondue forks are in your home? Does keeping them in the garage count? Probably six.
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home? some strange, random number
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet? Any large insect.
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)? Um, my brain is shutting down. How about 31?
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched? Big, shiny, black sewer roaches.
20. Who is your favorite poet? my husband. He wrote a terrific poem entitled "Unfocused Potatoes"
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched? None. Ha ha, Mean Aunt!
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years? None. But let's not go back further than that.
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of? raw chicken that's going bad
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR? TR
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil? Dr. Seuss
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader? Darth Vader
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons? Richard Nixon
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck? Donald Duck
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx? Karl Rove
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie? Count Basie
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates? Bill Clinton
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird? Big Bird. I think he’d have better table manners and be less likely to destroy the house.
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett? Jimmy Buffett
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats? I’ll try the ghost. He’d be easy to cook for.
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky? Prokofiev
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay? Nothing.
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head. “Lisdoonvarna” by Christy Moore
27. Name the most annoying song of all time. “Five Little Speckled Frogs” when sung at Family Home Evening, week after week
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word? chicanery
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail? crrunnnccchh
30. Have you ever eaten a snail? no
31. Which is more unpleasant? I hope to never find out.
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be? Someone squeaking a balloon.
33. What is your favorite epitaph?
here is one I like:
"Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising."
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish? nope
35. What's your favorite ancestor name? Weech
36. Who is your favorite fictional villain? Dolores Umbridge
37. What is your favorite music you would least be suspected of liking?
38. What is meant by mamelon and ravelin? that the creator of this survey likes Gilbert and Sullivan
39. Suggest a character name for someone in Sariah Wilson’s next novel. Bear in mind that she is currently writing romances set in Book of Mormon times.
Hunkinihah.
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be? The Swedish Chef
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food? guacamole
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor? The point guard. That guy can really shoot. But I don’t think they’ll make it past the Heat this year.
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use? Well I’d say Robison. But you never see any tough guys named Robison. So how about The Amazing Bellon.
5. What time is it right now? 3:01, no wait, 3:02. Okay hang on 3:03 . . .
6. At the North Pole? Same time. I don’t change my watch when I travel. I say, “Let them adjust to me.”
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner? Has to be Sariah. The newbie always dies on Star Trek.
8. What is your favorite food-related song? Freebird. It’s not really about food, but it makes me hungry for take out.
9. What's the best anagram of your name? NYT Best seller. (I had to replace a few of the letters.)
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven? Yeah. But I left the oven on and the Styrofoam melted.
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.) One that sells many, many books.
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series? Never again. But Oakland will win it this year, and Steinbrenner will throw another tantrum.
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street? Street. Because I’d hate to have kids yell at me, “Run, Forest, run.” And laugh at my expense.
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife? I think it will be one of those giant hollow cakes with a mobster inside (or maybe the catacyclist
15. How many fondue forks are in your home? None unless you count the big metal forks you put marshmallows on.
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home? Tons—often in places you wouldn’t expect.
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet? A very small cow.
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)? Does this have anything to do with the North Pole?
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched? There was this gut who wanted to date my fifteen year-old (at the time) daughter.
20. Who is your favorite poet? Robert Service.
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched? Don’t have any kids under six and am grateful for it every day. Don’t care about the new tickle me Elmo either.
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years? Define traffic.
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of? Gotta go with bad raw chicken as well. My stomach tightens just thinking of it. Nasty!!
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR? Should I know who TR is?
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil? Dr. Seuss
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader? Darth Vader
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons? Richard Nixon
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck? Donald Duck
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx? Marx.
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie? How about Count Chocula?
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates? Gates.
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird? Bob. Never had dinner with a toon.
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett? Would Warren buy?
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats? So Yeats would be alive? Sounds kind of disgusting.
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky? How about BB King.
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay? The unlock code to my daughter’s car stereo..
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head. Whatever I heard last, and I mean whatever!
27. Name the most annoying song of all time. Love Shack
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word? miasma
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail? And shot them out of slingshots.
30. Have you ever eaten a snail? Yes.
31. Which is more unpleasant? Actually I kind of liked them both.
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be? People honking their car horns when picking people up before 7:00 am
33. What is your favorite epitaph?
here is one I like:
Not a clue.
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish? No. But I have tooted in Patagonia after eating fish.
35. What's your favorite ancestor name? Godiva
36. Who is your favorite fictional villain? Randall Flagg
37. What is your favorite music you would least be suspected of liking? Anything classical with lots of strings.
38. What is meant by mamelon and ravelin? The mamelon my coat is unravelin.
39. Suggest a character name for someone in Sariah Wilson’s next novel. Bear in mind that she is currently writing romances set in Book of Mormon times.
The tribe of people who were always packing up and moving to another land—known as the Sampsonites.
I laughed until I cried and my sister thought I needed professional help. This is just too funny.
Go Oakland!
Hey, Mean Aunt! I love Sethos too!
I wasn't going to do this (I really should be packing right now) but everyone already answered all the movie questions in Julie's blog, so here we go.
1. If you could be any Muppet, which one would you be? You didn't get the memo? I am a Muppet and I am Miss Piggy.
2. What is your favorite nine-letter food? Chocolate with guacamole.
3. Who is your favorite Byzantine emperor? What are you implying?
4. If you were a professional wrestler, what name would you use?
HotMamaT
5. What time is it right now? Time for me to stop procrastinating
6. At the North Pole? Time to take Tristi off the nice list
7. Which author will be the murder victim at next year's Covenant Mystery Dinner? Rob. Definitely Rob.
8. What is your favorite food-related song? McArthur Park. (Just kidding -- I hate that song. But it's about cake. Yum -- cake.)
9. What's the best anagram of your name? If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Or maybe I'd have to kill Rob.
10. Have you ever hidden dirty dishes in your oven? Yes. And under the couch, too.
11. What mystery would you most like to see Shandra solve in the next book in Jeffrey Savage's Shandra Covington series? (The second book was released this month.) Global warming.
12. In what year will the Red Sox next win the World Series? I would take some time to come up with a really glib answer, but truth be told, I don't care.
13. Would you rather be a forest or a street? A forest. With lots of pine trees. (Silly Jeff -- trees don't run. No one would taunt you.)
14. What type of cake will Eric Hopkins and Rebekah Hughes (from The Counterfeit) have at their wedding? What are the odds that someone will attempt to stab Eric with the cake knife? They will have cheesecake. And no one will try to stab Eric -- they will poison the cake.
15. How many fondue forks are in your home? Not one.
16. How many pairs of chopsticks are in your home? Again, not one. (Are you trying to make me feel deprived?)
17. What animal smaller than a shoebox would you least like as a pet? An Alaskan ferret. (I don't know if there is such a thing, but if there is, I don't want one.)
18. What's the biggest prime number you can think of (without the aid
of pencil, paper, computing devices, Google, etc.)? Aren't all numbers prime in their own way? Just think about it - what would we do if one of them went on vacation? Let's make all numbers feel special without these "I'm more special than you" labels.
19. What's the largest varmint you've ever dispatched? Well, I stepped on a mouse once, but I'm not sure if my stepping on it killed it, or if it was already dead when my foot came down.
20. Who is your favorite poet? I like Tennyson and Wordsworth.
21. How many complete Boobah episodes have you watched? I only watched one and it was for my job. I write media reviews for families.com. I'm still scarred.
22. How many traffic tickets have you received in the past two years? Oh, sure! While you're at it, why don't you just give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? One.
23. What's the slimiest thing you can think of? Slobber.
24. Who would you rather have as a dinner guest:
a. FDR or TR? So tough -- TR
b. Dr. Seuss or Dr. Phil? Phil
c. Darth Vader or Ralph Nader? Vader
d. Richard Nixon or Richard Simmons? Simmons
e. Donald Trump or Donald Duck? Duck
f. Karl Rove or Karl Marx? Rove
g. Count Dooku or Count Basie? Basie
h. Bill Clinton or Bill Gates? Gates
i. Sponge Bob or Big Bird? Bird
j. Jimmy Buffett or Warren Buffett? Jimmy
k. Plato's Ghost or WB Yeats? Plato
l. Prokofiev or Stravinsky? Prokofiev
25. What's the last item you purchased from eBay? "The Year That Trembled" DVD
26. Name a song that gets stuck in your head. Many of them have -- but the worst was the theme from Oobie.
27. Name the most annoying song of all time. Um -- that would be the theme from Oobie.
28. What's your favorite seldom-used word? Thither
29. Have you ever stepped on a snail? No
30. Have you ever eaten a snail? No
31. Which is more unpleasant? Again with the deprivation!
32. If you could ban one noise, what would it be? Whistling.
33. What is your favorite epitaph?
Okay, time for a serious answer. I have a cousin who was killed in a car accident when she was 19. She was a big Anne of Green Gables fan and her parents had "A Kindred Spirit" put on her stone.
34. Have you ever eaten Patagonian Toothfish? I'm getting seriously depressed here. Stephanie, I expect a case of Patagonian Toothfish delivered in the next week or so.
35. What's your favorite ancestor name? Benjamin. So I named my baby Benjamin.
36. Who is your favorite fictional villain? Fezzini.
37. What is your favorite music you would least be suspected of liking? The Judds.
38. What is meant by mamelon and ravelin? That is such a silly question. "Get thee out of Mamelon and come to Zion." And then, "Get off the end of my scarf! It's ravelin."
39. Suggest a character name for someone in Sariah Wilson’s next novel. Bear in mind that she is currently writing romances set in Book of Mormon times. Rex.
You've hidden dirty dishes under the couch? That is pure genius! Tristi, you are my idol.
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