Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

All Night Long

by Robison Wells

I'm getting old. Like, really, appallingly, grotesquely old. I'll be turning thirty on Friday.

Last night I discovered just how old I actually am, and it's broken my little heart. The basic story is this: I had a whole mess of homework, including a short little paper, and great big paper, and short online quiz. And, because last night was Family Home Evening, I got a late start on all of that.

(Tangent: my five year old wanted to make up a game to play last night and, since we were talking about Helping and Sharing, she devised a great new Helping and Sharing game. The basic rules are: you play Hide and Seek. If you happen to be "it" then you hold a Barbie. And, after counting, instead of saying "Ready or not, here I come!", you say "Helping and Sharing! Here I come to help and share!" I think I'm going to write it up and submit it to The Friend.)

Anyway, so I got started on all of this paper writing and quiz taking at about 9:00pm last night. I wasn't concerned about staying up late--I had to do that anyway because registration for fall semester started at midnight. So, I wrote and studied and typed. And, when midnight rolled around, I registered for classes (including Sales Management, because I want to grow up to be just like Jeff). And then it was about one in the morning, and I was still writing and studying. And it occured to me: I had to be up at 6:00am anyway. Why don't I just stay up all night long!? This is something that I hadn't done since my good old undergrad years. (I mean, I've spent many a sleepless night with little babies, but I haven't intentionally stayed up all night in many years.)

So, hurrah, I thought. That gives me way more time to write a paper. At 1:30am, I cracked open another cold, refreshing Coca-Cola, and settled in for a long haul to Homework Town.

I took my quiz, and I did surprisingly well on it. (Which isn't to say I got a high score. It was a Managerial Accounting quiz. If Managerial Accounting tasted like a big plate of fried chicken--with mashed potatoes and cream gravy and a deep-fried green beans--and I was the last person on earth, and everyone on earth would come instantly back to life and crown me their king if I would just eat one bite of Managerial Accounting, I would STILL NOT DO IT.)

And I finished the long paper, and moved on to the short paper. It was a case study of Newell Company acquiring Rubbermaid--and if that doesn't make you want to stay up all night, I don't know what does! Anyway, so I was sitting there writing it, swilling Coke and listening to Gnarls Barkley on my mp3 player, and I wrote the following sentence:

One of Bowers’ cautions when discussing M&As--especially product-extension M&As--recommendation relative size of companies was an established the acquired company is relative disadvantage compared to past M&As.

I took another swill of Coke to clear my thoughts, read the sentence again, and realized that I had just fallen asleep while writing. I think this is a first for me. (Incoherent, brain-dead writing is yet another situation where I'm trying to grow up to be just like Jeff! Zing!)

Anyway, I tried to keep going, but it just didn't work. I was so close--it was 3:15am!--but I just couldn't stay awake any longer. I set the alarm for 6:00, crawled into bed, and went to sleep.

And here I am today, with only one two and a half hours of sleep. And I'm surprisingly coherent. I mean, I drank two cans of Coke during my 8:00am class this morning, but that's normal, isn't it? ISN'T IT?


At 4/01/2008 4:00 PM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

You're right--the inability to pull an all-nighter is a definite sign that you're entering the old fogie years. Back in college, if I got to bed before midnight it was "early." Now I'm yawning around 9:00 and ready to pass out by 10:30.

Welcome to the land of old people.

At 4/01/2008 5:23 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

The Coke thing is just gross, Rob.

And it's true--the energy dips when you get older. Looking back, I don't know how I survived staying up so late and getting up early. I guess the answer is--I was a lot younger.

Nice to see you hit 30 at last, you punk.

At 4/01/2008 5:50 PM, Blogger J Scott Savage said...

I always assumed your first book had a picture of a man with his head in the ground because you wrote it while you were asleep. (Zing back.)

But congrats on the sales management class. Welcome to the dark side. I just finished beating five salespeople so they would all sell their entire month's quota on the last day of the month. It's a lot like being over the home teachers.

At 4/01/2008 5:58 PM, Blogger Michele Holmes said...

My sister tried whining to me this week about turning 30---and I didn't have much sympathy. Same feelings your way. You're just now turning 30, and you've published THREE books?! Such hardship.

Happy birthday, from someone who'd love to be so young again.

At 4/01/2008 10:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You mean the day will come when I DON'T want to stay up all night?! When college is over, and I go to bed at a decent hour?! Wow, you learn something new every day...

At 4/02/2008 12:54 AM, Anonymous Ancient of Days said...

you're a BABY - and a brat at that, bragging about how old you are at 30! Some of us are older, but not necessarily fogier!

Okay, so I agree with you. I've decided to have my midlife crisis right now and get it over with, then when I hit the big four-O it'll be one less thing on my to do list!

At 4/09/2008 2:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You wanna talk old? My SON just turned 30! :(


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