The Cop is Out!

by Robison Wells

So, I hate these tag games. But, it's an easy, cop-out blog, and who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? Thanks Stephanie!

What were you doing ten years ago?

Ten years ago I was on my mission. I was in Pueblo Pintado, NM, which is about as remote an area as you can find in the United States. From my front door I could see three other buildings (one of which is in the photo), and from my back door I could see none. Our water smelled like oil and felt greasy. Our trailer (we lived in a double-wide) was over-run with mice, and in the middle of the night you could hear the staccato of their little feet tapping up and down the air ducts--and we were ten miles from the site of the first Hanta virus fatality. It was quite awesome.

We were in a strange section of New Mexico called the Checkerboard, where private land was shared with the Navajo Reservation in a checkerboard pattern. Most of the private land out there was owned by oil companies or mines, and the Navajo people lived in near third-world conditions. Ninety percent of the homes had no running water, and probably half had dirt floors.

I have a lot of very good friends down in New Mexico, and we try to return there every August for our annual bushel of green chile. (I don't think we'll make it this year, though.)

What were you doing one year ago?

One year ago The Counterfeit had just been released and I was hiding from the public and papparazi. Other than that, everything was about the same.

Five snacks you enjoy:

Before I make the list, I'll begin by saying that I'm not a big fan of candy. At dinner, if I have a choice between second helpings and dessert, I'll always take the seconds. On a related note, when you're on an email group with a bunch of women, and one of them has a bad day and everyone else emails and says "Go eat some chocolate, girl!", don't you just HATE THAT? Answer: YES.

Anyway, snacks I like:

1. Fancy cheese. The grocery store near my previous home had a fantastic selection of cheeses, and when my wife and I would splurge for treats, I'd often get a small block of cheese. I'd try to get a different kind every time. My favorites are: Gouda, Edam, Havarti, Jarlsberg, Comte, Double Gloucester, Tintern, Danish Bleu, Gorgonzola, Brie, Camembert, Fontina. (Yes, this is a big list of favorites, but that's because there's room enough for everyone thanks to love.)
2. Tempura. I could eat tempura all day long. I just wish I had a deep frier at home.
3. Potatoes, cooked in any one of their many fabulous varieties.
4. Coke, or, on my more whimiscal days, Cherry Coke.
5. Oreos.

Five songs you know all the lyrics to:

I know the words to lots and lots of songs, and I'd totally kick butt on that new Don't Forget the Lyrics show. So, instead of just picking five, I shuffled the music library on my computer and have listed the first five to which I know all the words:

1. I Feel Good, by James Brown
2. Busted, by Matchbox 20
3. Queen of the Hop, by Bobby Darin
4. Hello City, by Barenaked Ladies
5. Revolution, by the Beatles

Things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Live somewhere else. I'm crazy with wanderlust--I've always wanted to travel all over the world. But I've never wanted to do the tourist type thing. I'm interested more in culture than in sights, so I've always wanted to just move somewhere, live there for a year or so, and then move somewhere else. I want to see what places are like for the people who live there, rather than just see the castles and museums and scenic byways. (But I want to see that stuff, too.)
2. I'd pay off my parent's house, and buy a condo for my mother-in-law.
3. After traveling, my wife and I want to settle down in Anacortes, WA, and have a big yard with an English garden.
4. I'd eat fancy cheese all the time.
5. I'd do absolutely nothing for weeks at a time. And then make a big donation to the Whitney Awards. (And, you know, poor kids.)


Five bad habits:

1. Nose picking.
2. Chronic lying.
3. Kleptomania.
4. Pyromania.
5. Watching American Idol.

Five things you like to do:

1. Go out to nummy restaurants.
2. Relax.
3. Play games. (Dang it, FHL, we still need to get together.)
4. Receive compliments.
5. Hang out with the little woman.

Things you will never wear again:

This is a dumb category, because: who cares?

1. My blessing outfit.
2. Those rad Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles velcro shoes I had in elementary school.
3. My suit pants that ripped from stem to stern during church.
4. My shirts that shrunk in the wash. (No, it wasn't my belly getting bigger.)
5. The dress I wore for Halloween in the fourth grade. It made me look too hippy.

Five favorite toys:

1. My laptop.
2. My Mont Blanc pen.
3. Three hundred little painted soldiers.
4. My ergonomic trackball mouse. It glows red, like the pain in my hand.
5. My fridge.

Where will I be in ten years?

Probably living in an apartment, going back to grad school for the seventeenth time.

People to Tag:

Winston Churchill
Hank Williams
Wolf Blitzer
Jackie Chan
Jack Weyland