The Perils of Purse Ownage
By Sariah S. Wilson
So, last week I got a purse.
I know, no big deal, right?
Except...I haven't owned a purse since high school. Back then all the girls at school had purses. I'm not really sure why. All I ever kept in my purse was my keys (I also couldn't drive so again, I'm not really not sure why I say "keys" when it was actually only one key and about 36 keychains). I found purses annoying. All that carrying and remembering just wasted too much effort. It was distracting.
When I got to college I had no purse. I had a backpack. The backpack kept my entire life in it quite well. If I was going dancing with my friends, I stuck my money in my pocket and was usually the only one on the dance floor not wearing a purse while I danced. I liked my freedom. I liked not having a purse appendage.
So when I got out of college, I stayed purse-free. I kept my keys and sunglasses in my desk at work. I would leave my wallet in the car, where the mess on the floor safely camouflaged it. It worked.
When I had children, I did use a diaper bag and I would just stow my stuff in along with the baby's stuff. Less hassle, less bags to remember. I would also carry cash and credit cards in my jeans pocket. Easy to get to, and since I'm always wearing my pants, I'm not going to inadvertently leave my credit cards at a restaurant or something.
But then my husband got me a Palm Pilot for Christmas. Then he got me a keyboard to go with it. Now, presumably, I can write wherever I want to. But the Palm Pilot does not fit in my pockets. Nor does the foldable cute keyboard. I wanted to use them. I wanted to be able to work on my story whenever I felt like it. Drastic measures had to be taken.
Thus, I got a purse. I now have to remind myself to carry it everywhere with me. I'm very worried about forgetting it and find that I am much more easily distracted.
The proof? Last week after I bought my purse I also received a sunburn so bad I couldn't move my arms (while I remembered to put sunscreen on all the parts of me I could see, I failed to put it on my shoulders or back. Ouch.). While driving a few days later, my 4-year-old pointed out a cow to me and I turned my head to look. I had this fleeting thought about the many yellow fire hydrants lining the road before looking at said cow. When I turned my attention back to driving I noticed that the car in front of me had come to a dead stop. I slammed on my brakes and had to swerve off the road into the grass and managed to maneuver my way around one of the yellow fire hydrants without hitting the fence that kept the cows in (meanwhile I'm thinking that if I was going to get a warning from the Spirit, instead of "Watch out for the yellow fire hydrant" a "Hey, stupid, keep your eyes on the road or else you'll get in an accident" might have been more effective for me).
A terribly bad sunburn and an almost bad car crash the same week I get my purse. Coincidence?
I think I should go back to pockets.
So, last week I got a purse.
I know, no big deal, right?
Except...I haven't owned a purse since high school. Back then all the girls at school had purses. I'm not really sure why. All I ever kept in my purse was my keys (I also couldn't drive so again, I'm not really not sure why I say "keys" when it was actually only one key and about 36 keychains). I found purses annoying. All that carrying and remembering just wasted too much effort. It was distracting.
When I got to college I had no purse. I had a backpack. The backpack kept my entire life in it quite well. If I was going dancing with my friends, I stuck my money in my pocket and was usually the only one on the dance floor not wearing a purse while I danced. I liked my freedom. I liked not having a purse appendage.
So when I got out of college, I stayed purse-free. I kept my keys and sunglasses in my desk at work. I would leave my wallet in the car, where the mess on the floor safely camouflaged it. It worked.
When I had children, I did use a diaper bag and I would just stow my stuff in along with the baby's stuff. Less hassle, less bags to remember. I would also carry cash and credit cards in my jeans pocket. Easy to get to, and since I'm always wearing my pants, I'm not going to inadvertently leave my credit cards at a restaurant or something.
But then my husband got me a Palm Pilot for Christmas. Then he got me a keyboard to go with it. Now, presumably, I can write wherever I want to. But the Palm Pilot does not fit in my pockets. Nor does the foldable cute keyboard. I wanted to use them. I wanted to be able to work on my story whenever I felt like it. Drastic measures had to be taken.
Thus, I got a purse. I now have to remind myself to carry it everywhere with me. I'm very worried about forgetting it and find that I am much more easily distracted.
The proof? Last week after I bought my purse I also received a sunburn so bad I couldn't move my arms (while I remembered to put sunscreen on all the parts of me I could see, I failed to put it on my shoulders or back. Ouch.). While driving a few days later, my 4-year-old pointed out a cow to me and I turned my head to look. I had this fleeting thought about the many yellow fire hydrants lining the road before looking at said cow. When I turned my attention back to driving I noticed that the car in front of me had come to a dead stop. I slammed on my brakes and had to swerve off the road into the grass and managed to maneuver my way around one of the yellow fire hydrants without hitting the fence that kept the cows in (meanwhile I'm thinking that if I was going to get a warning from the Spirit, instead of "Watch out for the yellow fire hydrant" a "Hey, stupid, keep your eyes on the road or else you'll get in an accident" might have been more effective for me).
A terribly bad sunburn and an almost bad car crash the same week I get my purse. Coincidence?
I think I should go back to pockets.
Sariah Wilson — 7/08/2006 09:28:00 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Yeah, I gave up my purse the day I closed in the door of a taxi and lost my head.
PS You may notice that Shndra has a back pack and won't use a purse.
This made me laugh. I hate purses!! I used to have one until I realized I kept putting more and more in it and it drove me crazy. About the time I had kids I moved to the diaper bag, but when we grew out of them, I went to a planner. I guess my planner was my purse, but it just wasn't the same. ;) I gave in and got a purse two months ago, simply because my planner was too much to just carry by itself, I had to have more room. sigh. I think there is a conspiracy...don't you?
;)
It IS a conspiracy. One that my washing machine was apparently in on. It broke yesterday. I had to buy a new one today. And of course the purse was with me.
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