The Dreaded Bio

by Julie Coulter Bellon

I had to write a bio for my publisher this week and I was instructed to write something unique about me. You wouldn’t think that writing in any form would be hard for a writer, but this was hard for me. What can you really say about yourself?

I sat there at my desk, just thinking. What is unique about me? I’m pretty average. Being a writer was sort of unique, but since people would be reading this bio in the back of my book, they would already know that. Strike that one. I’m a mom. Still not that unique. I realized that I don’t leave my house a lot because I’m usually home taking care of kids or writing or whatever. But that’s not the type of unique you probably want people to know in a bio. “Julie is a hermit who takes care of kids and writes books and rarely leaves her house except to shop for food.” Yeah, I don’t know if my publisher would think that was a good idea to tell people.

Maybe part of the problem is that I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble about a writer’s life. I mean, my husband has been asked several times when he’s going to retire since his wife is a published author, because, of course, being a published author means we have oodles of money lying around and we fill the tub with hundred dollar bills and roll in it before bed every night, right? Wouldn’t that look great in my bio (and my bank account)? “Julie loves to take a dip in a cool, money-filled pool each night.” Oh, man, I laughed myself silly even just writing that. (Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with rolling in your royalty money in your tub, if that’s what you like to do.)

But I also don’t want to be someone like my daughter’s BYU professor who introduced himself to the class by going over his resume. Although she did find out where he went to school and what jobs he’d had, it was pretty boring. I’m assuming my readers don’t care much that I worked at a tomato stand for a summer job once. Maybe they care that I earned a degree at BYU. I thought I wanted to put that in, even though it may be boring, because I worked hard for it, so it just seems right that I could have that there at least.

So my list of unique things about me was pretty short. I’m a mom. I’m a hermit. I’m a writer. (Not necessarily in that order.) So I expanded my list to things I’ve done. I got to meet Princess Diana. I’ve been able to travel to places such as London, Paris, Athens, and Ottawa. I teach a journalism class. I’ve had eight children. I’m working on my eighth book. I play the flute and I’m learning the bagpipes, (but I sort of stink at the bagpipes. They’re hard to play!)

Of course that’s the list I ended up using for the bio, mostly because it made me sound unique and interesting whether I am or not. I threw in that I teach at BYU to balance the unique with the boring, but all in all, I was pretty happy with it. Here’s how it turned out:

Julie Coulter Bellon loves the number eight, which is probably why she has eight children and is excited to see her eighth book taking shape. Her claim to fame, besides being an author, is that she got to meet Princess Diana when she was twelve years old. Julie loves to travel and her favorite cities are Athens, Paris, Ottawa, and London. She’s learning to play the bagpipes and she’s not very good at it, yet, (she thinks she sounds like a sick moose), but she’s working on it. She teaches a journalism course for BYU Continuing Education, and loves to stay up with current events and our changing world. You can keep up with Julie and all her projects at www.juliebellon.com

What do you think? Will my publisher be happy? When you read a book, do you even read the author’s bio? What kind of things do you want to see there if you do?