Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Friday, November 12, 2010

Pithy Paraprosdokian Proverbs

I totally can't blog today, but I've been saving a forward for just such an occasion! What I liked most about this e-mail, frankly, was the word itself: paraprosdokian. It's kinda hard to work into conversation, but fun to roll around on the tongue.

In fact, I like paraprosdokians so much, I have decided to collect them. (Much cheaper than Lladro.) I hope you'll enjoy these gems from my new collection and add your own favorites.

Here is the forward; I'd credit it if I could:
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

Paraprosdokian sentences:

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "A DOCTOR."

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
And, perhaps the most appropriate here:
You're never to old to learn . . . something silly!
Happy Weekend, All!


At 11/12/2010 3:34 PM, Blogger Debra Erfert said...

What cool Paraprosdokian sentences. I had to read everything twice, some three times. (I'm a little slow.)

And to prove that a person's never too old to learn something new ... I learned how to bead jewelry this past week. Fun, fun. But a strong light and reading glasses are essential.

At 11/12/2010 4:48 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

I love these sentences, Kerry! And what a cool word.

At 11/12/2010 6:10 PM, Blogger Jon Spell said...

Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day AFTER tomorrow.

Wise men think alike; fools seldom differ.

At 11/13/2010 1:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're welcome, Kerry!! I was the one who forwarded this email to you; it was forwarded to me from another friend. I knew you, as a writer (and someone with a sense of humor), would appreciate this. :)

Sarah A.

At 11/13/2010 10:50 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Fun post. I'd never heard that word before and I love the one liners.


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