Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Catching Up

by Robison Wells

My brain isn't working quite right this morning, but I want to blog anyway (because I didn't last week, as was so rudely pointed out by that ne'er-do-well Stephanie Black). Consequently, I'm going to blog, but I'm not going to make it one big coherant essay. Just a bunch of stuff, connected via bulletpoints.

  • First, and most importantly: I am finally writing a good book. I've spent the last four months not writing good books, but now I am. You may recall that two weeks ago my brother gave me the challenge: if I have a book to sell, he'd pay my way to the World Fantasy Convention at the end of October. Well, I am proud to say that I immediately started a book, outlined the entire plot, discovered that I'd outlined three books, cut it down, started writing it, and discovered it was crap. I did all of that in about four days. Then, one day I had to take my mom to the doctor's office, and while sitting in the waiting room I struck upon a great new idea. Since then (in six writing days) I've churned out 35,000 words, which is about half the length of the book. As you can imagine, I'm quite freaking pleased.

    (Clarification: when you are trying to sell a book to a publisher, it's probably not in your favor to say "The best part is, I wrote it in twelve days!" I'm not saying that the speed at which I'm writing is a great thing--I know I'll have to go back and revise quite a bit. But, it's awfully nice, after three years of piddling around, to have a great story that is fun to write.)

  • Second, for those of you who have been following my weight loss on the other blog, you've probably noticed that I haven't been blogging there for about a week. Again, that's because I've been writing this book. But, the current tally is: I'm down six pounds. And, most importantly (to me, at least) that's six pounds of dieting without significantly changing my habits. I've switched entirely over to non-sugary drinks, and I eat smaller portions than I did before. That's it. None of this no-processed-foods or count-your-calories nonsense. That's for crazy people.

  • Third, did you see the BYU game on Saturday? Holy freaking crap, that was awesome. Sadly, I speak as a man who lost faith in his team, and I'd said several times that I'd be happy if they just beat the +22 point spread. So, dear BYU, I'm sorry that I doubted you. I love you, baby.

    In similar news, did you notice that it's football season? That's the sweetest season of the entire year! Did you watch as perpetually overrated Ohio State struggled against Navy? Did you follow the Blount controversy up in Oregon? Did you notice that the Mountain West Conference won almost all of its games? I did all of those things, obsessively, and more. And I wrote half of a book. Take that, people who call me a slacker.

  • Fourth, despite all of the football watchin' and book writin' that's been going on, I also have discovered the surprisingly exciting world of tennis. (Not playing it, of course, because I don't want to be that healthy.) I've been watching the U.S. Open almost as much as I've been watching football. And it's quite awesome.

    A few tennis thoughts, from someone who knows nothing about the sport:

    • Women's tennis is more entertaining than men's tennis (and I know what you're thinking, but it's not just because of the short skirts). (Shame on you.) Men's tennis is all about power and winning off the serve. Women seem to have longer volleys. It's more fun to watch.

    • I'm rooting for Wozniacki to win. I want to name a kid Wozniacki, and call him/her Woz.

    • Roger Federer is one arrogant son of a gun. He makes NBA players look humble.

    • Wikipedia can't conclusively answer for me how tennis scoring came to be so weird. I find this troubling.

Anyway, it's ten o'clock and I need to get back to work. If I can keep up my schedule, this time next week I might have a full rough draft. That'd be neat.

Do you Twitter? If so, Rob would love you to be his follower. And, by "follower", he means "slave".


At 9/08/2009 1:40 PM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

First off, it's sick and wrong that you can lose weight by changing what you drink. Men.

Second, way to go on the book! Can't wait to read it--provided it's not 35 first chapters. (It's not, right?)

Third, glad you married someone who won't let you name a kid Woz.

(Word verification is "plither." Sounds like a verb in a fantasy novel.)

At 9/08/2009 1:47 PM, Blogger RobisonWells said...

But Woz Wells! Say it out loud! It's awesome.

At 9/08/2009 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a strange disease. Sure enough. I found it on the list of strange names for common illnesses:

Bilious Fever

Black Pox

French Pox

Great Pox (don't look this one up. I promise.)

Cramp Colic

Dry Bellyache

Fatty Liver (you can cure this by avoiding sugary drinks and eating smaller portions)

Hip Gout

Jail Fever

Puerperal Exhaustion

Pott's disease

Rotanny fever

St. Anthony's fire

Summer complaint (great name for diarrhea)


Water on the Brain

Winter Fever

Worm Fit

Woz Wells

At 9/08/2009 4:25 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

I am honored, touched, and humbled to know that my gentle hint helped motivate you to blog again. Good has been done here.

Holy cow--35K in six days? That's amazing.

At 9/08/2009 6:43 PM, Blogger Janice said...

Woz Wells...isn't that where the aliens crashed?

At 9/08/2009 8:06 PM, Blogger Charlie Moore said...


I love the humor of an LDS man. My wife tells me I'm not that funny. She doesn't understand. Anyway, great start on your new WIP. It probably took me 6 months to finish 35,000 words.

And by the way, concerning the losing weight thing, Annette. Not all men.


At 9/08/2009 11:54 PM, Blogger Heather B. Moore said...

Is the book about building a parade float?

At 9/09/2009 3:46 PM, Blogger L.T. Elliot said...

The nice thing about being a writer is that you CAN name a kid Woz!

At 9/09/2009 7:43 PM, Blogger Erin said...

Not a chance L.T. Elliot!


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