Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Pardon My Absence

by Rob Wells

I was at a wedding all day yesterday, which is why I didn't blog. (You probably assumed that I didn't blog because I'm a lazy sack of crap. On any other week, you'd have been correct.)

The wedding was for my cousin, Rachel, who is a sophomore down at BYU and who met her husband seven months ago in their ward Family Home Evening group. She is proof that the system works, and all of you unmarried people just aren't trying.

(In related news, fellow blogger Stephanie Black's daughter is about to start her freshman year at BYU next week. Dear Stephanie: I expect an invitation to the wedding.)

Yesterday started out very festive: it was also my son's fourth birthday, and we wanted to try to do something special, even though he'd spend the bulk of the day at babysitters. So, at 7:15am we were all gathered in the living room opening his presents, and then we ate birthday cake for breakfast.

I made a slight error in the birthday planning: I thought that my son kept asking for a Lightning McQueen wall poster, but he has a bit of a weird dialect and he was actually saying "Lightning McQueen roller coaster". (The miscommunication didn't really matter, though, because didn't get him the poster either. I got him Batman.)

Anyway, then we went to the wedding at the Salt Lake Temple, and it was very nice. And then we broke the speed limit trying take our kids from the Salt Lake babysitter down the Utah County babysitter in time to make it to the wedding lunch, and I was stressed out and frantic and we got there ten minutes late--and then the bride and groom showed up forty minutes after we did. Dang newlyweds.

At the lunch we watched a video showing Rachel as a baby, and I remembered her as a baby--and it was only a couple weeks ago, I think. And it made me cry because I have a baby girl who will one day want to get married, and I will have to lock her in the basement to prevent it. (I don't care about my sons getting married. Kick those bums out of the house, I say.)

Also at the lunch: there was some yellow fruit cut into cubes that looked like pineapple but tasted like watermelon. If you can correctly identify that fruit for me, you will not win a prize (but you may feel like you've accomplished something, maybe).

Anyway, then we went to the reception and it was nice and the groomsmen had to wear pink ties. And then we finally made it back home. It's not really that interesting of a story; I'm just trying to explain why I didn't blog yesterday.

You can follow me on Twitter. I didn't tweet yesterday, either.


At 8/19/2009 3:09 PM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

It was probably yellow watermelon. I've had it, and it's the weirdest thing, but it exists.

At 8/19/2009 3:18 PM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

My daughter's response to Rob: "I'm only planning to invite civilized people to my wedding." I'm guessing she's worried you'll be dancing on a table with a lampshade on your head, like you were at the Whitneys.

At 8/19/2009 6:58 PM, Blogger Jon Spell said...

My sister in law thinks yellow watermelon, too. From Wikipedia:
* Yellow Crimson Watermelon: variety of watermelon that has a yellow colored flesh. This particular type of watermelon has been described as "sweeter" and more "honey" flavored than the more popular red flesh watermelon.

At 8/19/2009 10:46 PM, Blogger J Scott Savage said...

Don't listen to Annette or Jon (who came to my six week class and still doesn't know why I don't like prologues.)

It was pineapple. You are just beginning that sad process called aging. First pineapple tastes like watermelon. Then popular music sounds like noise. Kids in your yard look like vermin. And vitamins taste like gumdrops. And everything smells like cheese. (And your kids go to BYU) Just live with it.

At 8/19/2009 10:53 PM, Blogger Paige's Pages said...

Maybe Asian melon? I tasted that the other day, though I declined the fish eyeballs swimming around in soup. :)

At 8/20/2009 10:01 PM, Blogger Allison Hill said...

Oh please, Rob's been an old man peering out the window to yell at people in his yard for about the last 10 years. And he naturally smells like cheese, so I don't think he'd notice. ^_^


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