The Promotional Hall of Shame

by Stephanie Black

A writer friend with a new book coming out soon learned, to her surprise, that bookstore managers aren’t keen on scheduling booksignings right now. I don’t know the reasons, but I’m not devastated. Truth is, I . . . um . . . er . . . well, don’t tell anyone, but booksignings aren’t exactly my favorite thing to do.

Okay, let me qualify that. I enjoy some parts of booksignings. It’s fun to talk to people, and to meet wonderful, supportive bookstore employees. It’s a thrill when someone comes specifically to see me (I’m so non-famous that this doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s awesome). I also enjoy signing with another author. This is about a thousand times better than signing solo. With another author next to me, I’m not in this alone, and I have someone to chat with in the dead times.

Fact is, I’m simply not a very good salesperson. Sitting at a table, smiling at people when they enter the store and offering them bookmarks, hoping that someone will take an interest in my book . . . urghh! Yes, I KNOW you’re not supposed to just sit at your table. I know you’re supposed to roam and hand out bookmarks and meet people that way when they aren’t stopping at your table. At my last round of signings, I did force myself out of my chair now and then to hand out a bookmark or two. But I don’t like it. I do it because I don’t want the bookstore employees to think I’m a dud. And here’s something I’ve never figured out: how exactly do you apply the roaming principle if it’s a slow day at the bookstore? You can’t go around stalking the only two customers in the store.

In a list of tips for successful signings, it said something about offering your book to people, because if you can get them to hold it, there’s a higher chance that they’ll buy it. Here’s my problem applying that principle: besides being an introvert, I know how I would feel if I were a customer in Seagull Book, and an author approached me and offered me her book. This is what would happen: I’d take the book and say something like, “Oh, cool!” (in a perky voice). Meanwhile, I’d sweat, my heart would race, and while I read the backliner with the author looking on, I’d be frantically wanting to escape. Knowing how uncomfortable I’d feel, how can I do that to someone else? Yes, I know not everyone is as wussy as I am, and most people probably wouldn't have issues with glancing at the book, handing it back, and saying, "No, thanks" if they didn't want it, but I have an overdeveloped sense of guilt, so for me, that situation would be uber-awkward.

Confession: in my pre-author days, I would have taken the “Don’t make eye contact! Don’t make eye contact!” approach if I entered a bookstore and saw an author doing a signing. Now, I’d be a lot more likely to go up and chat with the author, because I know how it feels to be sitting at that table. Yes, you want people to buy your book, but even more than that, you want people to come talk to you. So if you go into a bookstore and see an author, you don’t have to buy her book, but if you go greet her and chat with her, she’ll bless your name for generations.

Anyway, there it is. I'm a wimp. Strangely, they haven't asked me to teach a class on book promotion at the upcoming LDStorymakers Writers Conference. Go figure.