The Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear About Your Book

I have been having a hard time this week deciding what to blog on. As a BYU alumni there was an amazing "holy war" football game this week between the University of Utah and BYU and BYU pulled out with a win with only three seconds left to go in the game. It was awesome. Then there's Christmas coming up, and a million other possible things I could have blogged about, but nothing was really jumping out at me. Until this morning. I was talking with my good friend Marnie Pehrson, (whose new book Angel and the Enemy is now available www.marniepehrson.com and it's easily her best book to date, by the way) but I was telling her of my dilemma and she suggested a top ten list. Then we just started brainstorming all the things that authors would never like to hear about their books. It was getting a little crazy, (I was laughing so hard) but I narrowed down the list for you. Feel free to add your own.

The Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear About Your Book

10. It makes a great coaster

9. I set it down and got engrossed in the shopping network

8. The retirement home reads it every night! It makes a great sleep aid.

7. It was the best white elephant gift at the party.

6. That was your book? I'm sorry.

5. I plan to read it as soon as we get a new couch. You see we lost one of the couch legs in the move and your book was the perfect size to prop it up.

4. I found a lot of errors. If I show them to you, could you put in a good word for me at your company? I'd love to be your editor.

3. Your characters reminded me of Gumby, sort of flat and one dimensional, but other than that it was good.

2. Your hero reminded me of this guy I hate.

And the number one thing you don't want to hear about your book is . . . drum roll . . .

1. I didn't care for it, but my cousin Earl and the other inmates just raved about it.