Goin' to the Chapel . . .
by Julie Coulter Bellon
My brother is getting married on Saturday. That isn't a big deal, unless you know my brother. He's 35 years old and frankly, some of us had given up hope that he ever would marry. But, he's finally found his soulmate, a sweet woman to share his life with, and we couldn't be happier.
Our family has been frantically preparing to make the trip, and two of my children were asked to be in the wedding party. My three year old son was asked to be the ring-bearer, so we had to rent a tuxedo for him. (He looks adorable in it, by the way). My daughter was asked to be a bridesmaid and she's breathtaking in her gown. I, however, was asked to find a burgundy dress for my part in the wedding. No problem, I think to myself. I go to all my standard clothing stores, but there are no burgundy dresses. That's okay, I reassure myself, I'll go to the mall. I spend hours going into stores, looking for an elusive burgundy dress. One store that looked promising had no one at the counter, so I waited patiently for someone to appear. When she did, she had a pink stripe going through her spiked hair and when I asked her if she only carried skirts in her store, because I needed a dress, she looked at me with a confused look on her face like I'd just asked her to translate my sentence into Klingon and she said, "Dress? I haven't seen dresses for forever," to which I muttered under my breath, "I'll bet," and thanked her and left. Store after store told me that skirts are in and dresses are out, and didn't I know that burgundy is a winter color? They'd be getting burgundy in during the fall season and I should check back in a few months, which of course I couldn't do because I needed the dress right away. Last Monday, I went to a different mall, quite a ways away from my home, and looked for dresses there. Just as I was about to give up, I spotted it. A mannequin had it on and it was perfect. I tried it on, but had a hard time because they had plastered it with those anti-theft devices. After seeing that it really fit, I bought it and went home. You'll never guess what happened. They had forgotten to take off one of those anti-theft devices and it clearly states on it that if you tamper with it, ink will run out and ruin the garment. I'd have to go back to that faraway mall and have them remove it. Which really stinks when you're on a tight schedule and you asked the girl twice if she'd removed them all and she assured you she had and now you just want to wring her scrawny little neck because you have to waste all that gas going back, just so she can take that thing off so ink doesn't run all over the clothing. I guess I should just be grateful I found the right dress, so that when I see her again, I can smile.
To top it all off, my mother called that same day, and they were having a crisis, since my brother had accidentally run over his fiancee's cat. The wedding is still on, however, so I guess she loves him more than the cat.
So we're ready to go, and all I have to do is come up with a toast and a speech to give about my brother. I'm really looking forward to that one, since this is my chance to dish all the dirt I have on him, and get him back for all the horrible things he did to me when we were kids. Just kidding. It will probably be mushy and embarrass the heck out of him. Hey, what are sisters for?
My brother is getting married on Saturday. That isn't a big deal, unless you know my brother. He's 35 years old and frankly, some of us had given up hope that he ever would marry. But, he's finally found his soulmate, a sweet woman to share his life with, and we couldn't be happier.
Our family has been frantically preparing to make the trip, and two of my children were asked to be in the wedding party. My three year old son was asked to be the ring-bearer, so we had to rent a tuxedo for him. (He looks adorable in it, by the way). My daughter was asked to be a bridesmaid and she's breathtaking in her gown. I, however, was asked to find a burgundy dress for my part in the wedding. No problem, I think to myself. I go to all my standard clothing stores, but there are no burgundy dresses. That's okay, I reassure myself, I'll go to the mall. I spend hours going into stores, looking for an elusive burgundy dress. One store that looked promising had no one at the counter, so I waited patiently for someone to appear. When she did, she had a pink stripe going through her spiked hair and when I asked her if she only carried skirts in her store, because I needed a dress, she looked at me with a confused look on her face like I'd just asked her to translate my sentence into Klingon and she said, "Dress? I haven't seen dresses for forever," to which I muttered under my breath, "I'll bet," and thanked her and left. Store after store told me that skirts are in and dresses are out, and didn't I know that burgundy is a winter color? They'd be getting burgundy in during the fall season and I should check back in a few months, which of course I couldn't do because I needed the dress right away. Last Monday, I went to a different mall, quite a ways away from my home, and looked for dresses there. Just as I was about to give up, I spotted it. A mannequin had it on and it was perfect. I tried it on, but had a hard time because they had plastered it with those anti-theft devices. After seeing that it really fit, I bought it and went home. You'll never guess what happened. They had forgotten to take off one of those anti-theft devices and it clearly states on it that if you tamper with it, ink will run out and ruin the garment. I'd have to go back to that faraway mall and have them remove it. Which really stinks when you're on a tight schedule and you asked the girl twice if she'd removed them all and she assured you she had and now you just want to wring her scrawny little neck because you have to waste all that gas going back, just so she can take that thing off so ink doesn't run all over the clothing. I guess I should just be grateful I found the right dress, so that when I see her again, I can smile.
To top it all off, my mother called that same day, and they were having a crisis, since my brother had accidentally run over his fiancee's cat. The wedding is still on, however, so I guess she loves him more than the cat.
So we're ready to go, and all I have to do is come up with a toast and a speech to give about my brother. I'm really looking forward to that one, since this is my chance to dish all the dirt I have on him, and get him back for all the horrible things he did to me when we were kids. Just kidding. It will probably be mushy and embarrass the heck out of him. Hey, what are sisters for?
Julie Coulter Bellon — 6/01/2006 11:35:00 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Good luck today. Weddings are from hell.
In Sarah's wedding last year, Rowan, my little granddaughter, got halfway down the aisle (flower girl) realized people were looking at her and booked, I had to go get her and we walked up the aisle together.
Maxwell was the ring bearer and he did a great job.
All in all, I wish I'd been in a coma or something for several months till it was over. It's been 8 months and I'm just starting to realize how lovely it was.
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