Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Friday, August 27, 2010

This. Is. Also. Not. A. Blog. (Sorry)

by Kerry Blair

Since I happen to have a tape measure at hand, I have been able to ascertain that inch-for-inch, Jeff (bless him!) has easily covered this week both for me and that kid who used to blog on Tuesdays. (He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named walked the earth back in the days when I used to blog on Fridays, I think.) Thank you, Jeff!

That decided, I was polishing up my handy-dandy "moving-to-another-town" excuse and going blithely on my way when I happend to see Sariah's post. Oh. My. Gosh. Suddenly, my cross-county move is paling in comparison. Not only do I already have a house to inhabit, I've actually told my kids that anything they still have on the premises will need to be boxed and moved by them personally. (Yes, guys, this includes fish, fowl, and whatever leftover pit bulls you might have left laying around.)

So . . . in the fifteen minutes I have before leaving to meet the contractor who is going to knock holes in my perfectly good new walls, I am blogging.
Okay, so I'm not actually blogging. I'm more like . . . telling you that I'm not blogging because I'm in the midst of a move to beautiful, downtown Dewey-Humboldt, Arizona. (Don't look it up; it looks kinda depressing online, but it's amazing in real life.) Sariah sought your advice about trivial little things like schools and pediatricians, and many of you responded. I have a much more pressing concern. I have a corral.
A really big corral.
It looks like this, sans horses: (The horses in the picture moved to Wyoming, and good luck to them, I say.)

I don't have horses. I want to adopt a pair of wild burros from a local rescue, but I also want my husband not to divorce me, so I'm trying to think of other uses for this vast area of . . . um . . . baren dirt. Elsewhere on the property there is a house, a large lawn, a barn-type-thing, a well house, a garden, a chicken/goose yard & houses, a little road to the stable, a stable, and a good half-acre of weeds. There is also a another cleared horsey-kind-of-area where I will soon set up my own Field of Dreams. (I've always wanted a baseball diamond. It even has a built in grandstand-kind-of-thing -- again, somthing to do with horses, but serviceable in real-life.) So . . . here's the question: Now that you know what we already have, what do we still need? What creative uses can you imagine for the corral?

The use of your idea will entitle you to a free stay at Lazy Acres! (Named after a motel my grandparents operated in the area in the early 1950s.) All meals included -- assuming, of course, you consider Cheerios and frozen lasagne a meal. I'm not exactly a B&B kinda gal. Just ask Melanie. Or Deb. Or Doug. Or Jeri. Or Susan. Or anybody else who's ever been to see me in Chino Valley.

That said, the door is always open for YOU! Or it will be when the contractor knocks that aforementioned hole in the wall. Which he won't if I don't get out there. Happy weekend, all! (And good luck, Sariah. I feel your pain!)


At 8/27/2010 11:37 AM, Blogger Jon Spell said...

Excellent, Kerry! Now you have a new address that my mail can get not-delivered to! (I'm a little confused, you have a corral in downtown?)

Idea #1: Add some extra dirt and make it into a dirt bike racing course! You could charge the kids to come ride on it (and sign waivers) and enjoy that constant chainsaw buzzing sound.

Idea #2: Home made wooden roller coaster!

One question: does your new digs at least have a suitable storage space for all of your books?

At 8/27/2010 1:56 PM, Blogger Janice said...

You could build a labyrinth. Out of all your books, then send your husband in to get lost so he'll decide that wild burros aren't so bad after all. :)

At 8/27/2010 2:30 PM, Blogger Traci Hunter Abramson said...

I didn't know you were moving! Are you going to be closer to Dewey or Humbolt? Or have the two finally grown together? Yes, only a true central Arizonan would think to ask this question. :)

At 8/27/2010 6:09 PM, Blogger Debra Erfert said...

Yes, Dewey and Humbolt are as one on the Internet map. Weird. You're not moving very far, which is good, I suppose. You'll still get the snow, which is good, too, in my jilted, desert-bound opinion.

Ditch the burro idea, Kerry. I know they are adorable, but they do take a lot of work. I can see a wonderful garden inside that fence, with rows of corn standing tall over the shorter vegetation of your choice, with colorful flowers growing off to one side. Now I chose corn as a primary because I love that veggie, and if you need help planting, and or harvesting, I’d be more than willing to lend a hand in both, as long as I’d get to bring home a bushel as a reward. Now that my thyroid is working like it should be, I feel like I could plow that whole small field and still be smiling when I collapse at the end of the day to the promised frozen lasagna.

Come on, tell the truth. That does sound like the best idea, huh?

At 8/27/2010 6:41 PM, Blogger Debra Erfert said...

I know you said you already have a garden, but I'm sure it’s just a small, dinky thing that can't possibly hold the corn I so desire. So, please, use that one to grow the flowers to beautify your home and to gift to those sisters you visit teach.

At 8/27/2010 8:20 PM, Blogger Jennie said...

Kerry, congratulations on the new house. I want to see pictures. And as far as that corral goes, turn it into a parking lot. You're building a field of dreams; if you have a baseball diamond you'll need a place to park the players and spectaters cars, but knowing you, you'll probably turn it into a camp for cub scouts. I'm sure you could fit a lot of tents and even a pinewood derby track inside it.

At 8/27/2010 9:36 PM, Blogger Becki said...

Is it possible to rent/lease the corral to an organization that uses horses/ponies/burros[like Brighty of the Grand Canyon] for various therapies - in particular people/children with MS because you understand the illness or with cancer since you understand that too. your corral and yard could be a bit of a retreat for those who need to forget their troubles for a bit. I've heard animals, particularly horses, are good with that kind of thing.
or you could always use it for a writers retreat :) but i don't know what we'd do with all the dust from the corral.
i don't really have a thing for forward slashes ///- they just seemed to come in handy writing this.

At 8/28/2010 2:14 AM, Blogger Marta O. Smith said...

1. A helicopter landing pad.

2. A maze full of bougainvillea and hibiscus, with a grotto here and there, and topiary, and marble fountains, and coy ponds, and comfortable chairs with side tables, and WiFi access and hidden power outlets so you can use your laptop there.

At 8/28/2010 2:27 AM, Blogger Paige's Pages said...

I know! I know! Build my dream! A library!! I'll come visit then! :) On a side note I was re-reading "Counting Blessings" the other night and I remembered how much you inspire me to be a better person. And more importantly, you make me laugh! Good luck on your move. I recently completed one from New York back to Utah and now contemplating one from here to Los Angeles. Moving tries my patience. (Perhaps I should have listened better to that relief society lesson last week...) P.S. Why is the contractor moving the wall?

At 8/28/2010 7:38 AM, Blogger Melanie Goldmund said...

Well, I don't know anything about corrals, but if it were a field, now, and if it were mine, then I would strike a pose in the middle of it and wait for somebody to come by. Then I could casually mention, "I've been waiting for years to honestly say I am outstanding in my field."

At 8/28/2010 11:14 AM, Blogger Kerry Blair said...

You are all terrific! I read the ideas out loud to my family last night -- so fun! Not that I don't think every one of you is inspired (because you are!) but I'm leaning toward that roller coaster. I don't ride roller coasters, mind you, but how cool would that look next to the ballfield?

Jon: I was kidding about the "downtown" thing. If Dewey even has a downtown, I haven't seen it.

Traci: Can you believe it? Dewey and Humboldt put a dash between their names about a year ago. It's hard to say where one ends and the other begins (through the middle of some guy's trailer, perhaps?) but we live more on the Dewey side. We're about a mile north of Young's Farm, but on other other side of the highway, in the foothills. (And only another Central Arizonan would have any idea what I'm talking about -- or care!)

Deb: So glad about the sudden bursts of super-strength! I could use a little of that right about now. No worries about the corn -- ample room. I think we may have missed planting this year, so you'll just have to come plow the snow first!

Paige: I miss you, girl! We had the hole punched in the wall to add an outside door to my mother's suite. It looks great.

Marta: You and I kinda think alike. When my husband nixed the burro thing I told him I was going to line the fences with all the Christmas lights I could find and create a landing field for when those guys who caused "The Phoenix Lights" come back by. They flew right over once before; maybe they'll stop if they feel more welcome. (And I could have Kool-Ade and cookies ready.)

Again, I just love ALL the ideas. Moving is so not fun -- even when the new house is. Thanks so very much for lightening the load!

At 8/29/2010 7:35 PM, Blogger Traci Hunter Abramson said...

Oooh! I love the area near the foothills! It looks like such a great piece of property. We'll have to see if we can get together when I head for Cottonwood in October. :) And of course, we can talk contractors (I mean volunteers) for building that roller coaster.

At 8/30/2010 8:13 AM, Blogger Chillygator said...

This might be the perfect time to adopt a Great Dane. Almost burro-sized and SO much cuter!

At 8/30/2010 11:55 AM, Blogger Pat said...

Two words - Bumper cars.


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