Time to Sweat

by Stephanie Black

I would like to proudly announce that I have now been exercising for a week and a half! And guess what? It worked! I’m skinny now with abs of steel!

Just kidding. I wanted to see if anyone would believe me. But truly, don’t you think that’s what’s wrong with exercise? Not enough instant gratification. Time and time again I’ve started exercising, been really good about it for a while, and then fizzled out (The Fizzler would be a good name for a mediocre villain--the guy who comes up with a fiendish plan to take over the world, but about halfway through, he gets bored, wanders home, and eats Death by Chocolate ice cream instead).

Anyway, now that vacation is over, here I go again, determined to get in better shape. I’m trying a little variety—some days I go for a walk around a nearby park (it’s about two miles to walk all the way around the park). Some days I exercise on our old Elliptical. And I just bought a groovy weight thing called a kettlebell so I can do some resistance-type exercise on some days. It’s this weight with a handle, and looks a bit like a rounded cowbell. When I watched the video explaining how to use it, the instructor talked about “throwing” it, which seems like a questionable idea at best—picture the weight sailing across the room, taking out a small child, and crashing through the window—but it turns out she wasn’t talking about actually flinging the thing, but just the way you’re swinging it (while still holding on). Whew. I’m just beginning, so I have my five-pound weight, but as you get stronger, you can get bigger weights. We’ll see if I make it that far.

I’m hoping I can keep up with the exercise this time. While I was driving my sixteen-year-old daughter to the zoo this morning (she volunteers at the zoo), she opined that the whole “it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit” thing that you always hear is baloney. I agree. Who came up with that theory anyway? Some organized, motivated person, I’ll bet. The rest of us are perfectly capable of doing something good for us for twenty-one days and then letting it go by the wayside. Habit, my eye.

But I am a bit more motivated this time than I’ve been in the past. I’m getting older, so good health no longer seems like the “free pass” it was when I was younger—I feel like I really need the exercise. Plus, I’d love to lose a few pounds. Not badly enough to actually diet, mind you, but badly enough to keep up with the exercise. I hope. Wish me luck.

Backup plan: buy bigger pants.