PHTHEEZLES

Christopher Robin

Had wheezles

And sneezles,

They bundled him

Into His bed.

They gave him what goes

With a cold in the nose,

And some more for a cold

In the head.

They wondered

If wheezles

Could turn

Into measles,

If sneezles

Would turn

Into mumps;

They examined his chest

For a rash,

And the rest

Of his body for swellings and lumps.

They sent for some doctors

In sneezles

And wheezles

To tell them what ought

To be done.

All sorts and conditions

Of famous physicians

Came hurrying round

At a run.

They all made a note

Of the state of his throat,

They asked if he suffered from thirst;

They asked if the sneezles

Came after the wheezles,

Or if the first sneezle

Came first.

They said, "If you teazle

A sneezle

Or wheezle,

A measle

May easily grow.

But humour or pleazle

The wheezle

Or sneezle,

The measle

Will certainly go.

They expounded the reazles

For sneezles

And wheezles,

The manner of measles

When new.

They said "If he freezles

In draughts and in breezles,

Then PHTHEEZLES

May even ensue" . . .

~A.A. Milne, "Sneezles," Now I am Six, 1927

The reazle I can't blog today is because my wheezles and sneezles have turned into PHTHEEZLES -- at least. In fact, if I were you, I'd lean away from the monitor and spray a little Lysol on the keyboard, just in case.