Great, Now I Have Guilt

Well I missed my turn yesterday, but since Sariah slid her poopy diaper stories to Monday last week, I figure I get some slack. Besides, who knows if Mr. Rob-I’m-so-cool-I-can-skip-four-weeks-and-still-get-more-comments-than-anyone-when-I-come-back-Wells will post today or not? So, yeah, you came looking for laughs from Rob or potty stories from Sariah, but you’ve got me.

With a build-up like that, you know this is a going to be a good post. But you might be wrong. So don’t get your hopes up. What I wanted to talk about today is writing the stories we want to without guilt. This is a tough topic because as Mormons we think we should feel guilty about something, anything. If we don’t feel guilty, it means we haven’t done anything wrong, which means we think we are perfect, which clearly we are not, which is a sin, which . . . makes us feel guilty. So we might as well just feel guilty in the first place.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a horror novel. I already felt a little guilty about that, because (aside from the fact that it’s what you’re supposed to do) Mormons shouldn’t write horror. We should write stories of conversion, or faith, or—failing that—women who take time out from teaching Primary to catch international crime rings, while falling in love with handsome spies. (Who hopefully discover faith and convert.)

As I was out working on a ward service project, (Yeah, I did that once.) a woman in the ward asked what I was writing. I told her it was a horror novel. She rolled her eyes and said, “Well, I guess that’s what sells.” Which, of course, made me feel guilty. I mean how could you not? People all around you are writing about pioneers, crime-fighting Primary teachers, and faith-promoting stories, and you’re writing about the ghost of a dead boy that is hitting people in the head with an axe. I know! You feel guilty just reading that last sentence when you could have been studying your Gospel Doctrine lesson, right?

So here I am finishing up a story called, The Fourth Nephite. I love this story. It’s a fun mix of fantasy, action, and Church History. I like the character. I like the bad guy. And I get to use some great lines that Joseph Smith actually said, like, “Trying to teach people the gospel is like trying to split a hickory knot with a corn dodger for a wedge and a pumpkin for a mallet.” This is a really fun story that I think will get a lot of kids interested in learning more about Church history. Yay for me right? Right. I am having a ball researching and writing this story.

But then there is this other story I am working on that takes place in Hell. That alone inspires guilt because you’re saying a four letter word every time you tell someone about your book. And then you get to the part where humans have been damned. Now you feel like you have to go wash out your mouth with soap. And just wait until people find out the demons are the good guys!

So the key is to just write LDS books. Except then you get accused of priestcraft. I’m sorry I have to laugh a little bit here. But this is true. I have actually heard people complain that anyone who takes money for writing a book with LDS themes or messages is guilty of priestcraft. The good news is everyone who I’ve heard make this suggestion is a) a wanna be writer, b) cranky by nature, c) slightly or more crazy. But yeah, there are people who think we should never take money for writing books with LDS themes. So there’s something else to feel guilty about.

But here’s the thing. Think of the best novels you have read. The ones that really stayed with you afterward and made you think. Remember those books that touched you in a way no other work of fiction had. Some of those are probably LDS. But I’ll bet many of them are not. Some of them might be clear stories of faith and the gospel. Others could have these same elements woven more subtly into the story. If you are a good person, (and I know you are, even though admitting it might make you feel a little guilty) your stories are going to have strong moral messages even though you didn’t set out to put them there. Your values, your beliefs, your moral compass, will shine through no matter what stories you tell.

Your horror novel might feature a police chief who failed to save his own wife and who is struggling with a belief in the afterlife. Your story about demons might actually be shining a light on the problems with putting ourselves above others, or judging unrighteously. Your romance may point out the hard decisions we have to make when we are faced with what the world thinks we want compared to what we really need. Your fantasy might show how we can turn our weaknesses into strengths.

Think about the best lessons you’ve taught your children. Were they all in church or family home evening? Or did some of them come when you were taking out the trash, or going to a movie, or struggling with a son or daughter’s mistake? Write the stories you love. Write the stories that catch you and call to you as you drift off to sleep. Write the stories that resonate inside you.

Yes there will be decisions to make. Do you include bad language? How much violence is too much? When does a romance scene cross the line? But don’t base those decisions on what someone else might say. People will judge you no matter what your write, and some of them will find you lacking. But if you remain true to yourself, and write the books that touch your heart, for every person who thinks you’ve failed, there will be a dozen who are touched by your words.

There are plenty of reasons to feel guilty. (Like skipping four weeks of posts, Rob!) Don’t let your writing become one of them.