Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Friday, March 20, 2009

Haute Topic

by Kerry Blair

Did anybody make it to Spring Fashion Week in Paris? I’d hoped to drop in but just couldn’t clear my busy calendar. (I think I was bathing the dog. Or maybe that was the week I decorated 96 cupcakes for the Blue & Gold Banquet.) At any rate, I missed the haute couture I’d hoped to pick up for the Whitney gala, but some of the ready-to-wear stuff may still be available.

If only I could make up my mind.

I think this leather skirt might be a fun look, what with being from Arizona and all. I could pair it with cactus earrings, a lasso necklace, and the red leather cowboy boots that were too-cute-to-pass-up-but-have-never-since-been-out-of-my-closet. The obvious downside is that the skirt was designed for a light pole whereas I more resemble a fire hydrant.

This creation by the same designer (Giles) is probably more me. I regret that these cuffs don't have the embellishments of the previous one—I thought those claws would make handy envelope openers were I called upon to be a presenter—but I am drawn to the look by the model herself. I have the same square face, thin lips, sunken eyes . . . and hairstylist! This might be the way to go, especially if it’s as cold up in Utah this year as it was last. For sure the boots would be great for slogging through snow and/or mud up at the Draper house.

On the other hand, I simply adore hats and I’ll never find a better one than this offering from Chanel. I’m thinking of adding a raven to the top. (Or possibly a beacon to alert low-flying aircraft.) You can’t beat basic black for evening attire, but I did wear black last year. (A stunning little number my daughter suggested had been designed by a witch with an aluminum foil fetish.) I loved it, but want to lighten it up a little this year. Plus, I might still be able to work in the cactus earrings and red cowboy books for a funky schoolmarmish look.

There is, however, practicality to consider. My royalty check was only slightly larger than Rob’s, so perhaps I should take a stand for provident living by copying a designer look at home. I’m frankly quite enamored with with this Marc Jacobs ensemble and—hallelujah!—a new Goodwill opened a mere 25 miles or so down the road. With a little careful scavenging, I think I could pull it off, don’t you? (I love the hat!)

What do you think? Anything will be better than what I have at the moment. I recently found myself flat on my back with an afternoon to kill, so I let my fingers do the shopping on eBay. The result arrived in yesterday’s mail—a supposedly $500 evening gown that I got for a song. (The song was “Going Out of my Head.”) As advertised, the elaborately beaded top is indeed a wonder! I wonder how I’d keep it up. (Think: chain mail, only heavier.) I wonder how I’d keep from toppling over. I wonder how my friends would react to hugging a giant brown armadillo. Heavens! I weigh too much already without lugging around fifty extra pounds of sparkly couture. That dress will be back up on eBay soon . . . unless I send it to tour Enrichment Nights as a vivid warning of what even a single SUI (Shopping Under the Influence of prescription pain relievers) can do.
So, while I wish I had time to blog about trivialities today, I don’t. While the rest of you debate how to judge a Whitney book—and the judges who’ve judged them—my mind is occupied with the important issue: What is everybody planning to wear?


At 3/20/2009 3:01 PM, Blogger Sandra said...

Kerry, Should you decide to go with the provident living look, stop by my house to pick up your hat. I inherited one just like it from a grandmother and it is just sitting in the hat box in my closet. You are welcome to it.

At 3/20/2009 4:31 PM, Blogger Jennie said...

Kerry, I have red western boots too. Maybe we could go as twins. I love those darn boots but if I wear them I have to get home before my husband goes to sleep because I need his help to get them off. I'm afraid I missed Fashion Week entirely this week which is sad to say since I once actually worked as a model---that was many pounds ago. I suppose it's a sign of creeping age that I can no longer see much difference between fashion shows and the Halloween parade at my granddaughter's gradeschool. And don't get me started on shopping. What's a woman to do when both her weight and her age have crossed the median point and the stores are only offering "don't wear beyond puberty" ware?

At 3/20/2009 8:11 PM, Blogger Karlene said...

ooh, I actually like that last one--except for the shirt and the hat. But I love the skirt and shoes and I could tolerate the vest... but darn! I don't have any red boots.

At 3/20/2009 8:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? Doesn't anyone know how to sew anymore? I went shopping in several stores, from Walmart to Dillards, and I couldn't find anything that wasn't sleeveless, way-low-cut, see-though, or just plain ghastly, none of which I thought would be especially appreciated at an LDS function, even sitting in the back row. I finally ended up at Joann’s and found patterns and fabric. Couldn't find any chain mail. Thought that would be a good look over a floor-length black skirt. =)


At 3/20/2009 10:52 PM, Blogger Josi said...

Um, is Deb advertising? I have gone out shopping twice and both times have returned home thoroughly discouraged. But what can you expect since I missed Fashion week as well. And, personally, I loved your dress last year Kerry, unfortunately it is so 2008 and no one at fashion week wears the same outfit twice--bummer.

At 3/20/2009 11:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No one at Spring Fashion Week pays for her own gown, either.


At 3/21/2009 2:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

...And just when I thought all I had to worry about is how I'm supposed to remember two days worth of instruction and inspiration - I have to try to look good while doing it?
I'm doomed.


At 3/21/2009 5:36 PM, Blogger Tristi Pinkston said...

I think you'll look awesome in whatever you choose, Kerry. Although with that provident living one ... you might arrive at the same look if you wrap yourself in a quilt. With a clashing hat, of course.

At 3/22/2009 11:34 AM, Blogger Jennie said...

Deb, I went shopping for a birthday present for a granddaughter and thought that since I was in shopping mode anyway I might as well look for something to wear for the gala. Ugh! Ugly is in. So is sheer, clashing colors, dislocated waists, too skinny to move, and maternity tops. (With the reduction in birth rates, why are women so anxious to run around in maternity smocks? With five children I've had enough of that style) I hate sewing, but I found myself wishing my mom was still around to sew something for me that would actually fit.

At 3/22/2009 9:31 PM, Blogger Stephanie Abney said...

Maybe you could just borrow some fatigues from one of your sons... ya' think?

LOVE YOU SILLY, FUNNY WOMAN... have fun figuring it out!

At 3/22/2009 10:07 PM, Blogger Kerry Blair said...

Thanks for all the comments! It's nice to know I'm in a big boat here, even if it IS sinking. :)

I can't believe the styles out there. True confession #1: The real reason I chose the pictures I did for the blog were that they were the only ones modest enough for a family blog.

True confession #2: I really do like the Provident Living look. If I were 50 pounds thinner or 8 inches taller I'd copy it in a flash. (And for sure stop by for Sandra's hat! I love that hat!)

True confession #3: I dropped in at JoAnn's like Deb. The patterns started at $8 and the fabric (If people don't sew these days, I know why.) So I drove across town and bought a gown at a thrift store...for $2.50!It met all my criteria: long, dressy, Yes, I'm really going to wear it! You will all want to come so you can laugh, but talk about provident living! The only thing I regret is that my red boots won't match.


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