Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Blundering Through My Blog

by Julie Coulter Bellon

I read Stephanie Black’s post this morning and, boy, do I have her fooled. With my superhuman skills, I may have even fooled her twice. Get it? Haha. I recently saw a sign that said something to the effect of, “My house is organized because the computer is broken,” and since I’m writing this on a computer, I guess you can surmise my state of organization. But I’m glad Stephanie thinks that about me, considering what an amazing woman she is in her own right. She’s not only one of the best writers I know, she’s genuinely a good person.

Stephanie always has good etiquette as well, and I admire that about her. It has recently been brought to my attention that I have bad blog etiquette. I did not know that you were supposed to reply to each comment on a blog or you were considered rude. I do read every comment posted to my Thursday blogs, but sometimes I’m rushing out the door and think of a funny or witty thing to say in return, but by the time I get home from running kids around, I forgot what I was going to say, so I just stay silent. Wasn’t there a Mark Twain quote that said, “It’s better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.” Yeah, that’s me most days. But I would never want to be seen as rude to any commenters on this blog, so please just know that I read and giggle and marvel over your comments, even if I don’t respond all the time. I don’t mean to be rude or have bad blog etiquette. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt anyone’s feelings. I really do have good etiquette most of the time.

However, I did have another little etiquette dilemma of my own this past week at the Cub Scout Blue and Gold banquet. We were sitting at a table with my son, and when we received our meal, it was fried chicken. It sort of looked like Kentucky Fried Chicken, but it wasn’t, if you know what I mean. So anyway, the lady next to me gets out her knife and fork and proceeds to try to eat it that way. The boy across from me grabs the chicken piece with his fingers and digs in. So, what is the appropriate way to eat chicken pieces in public? Fingers or fork?

And then, at my last basketball game (I coach the Young Women team) we pulled out a win and the other coach didn’t shake my hand. I was always told that the quality of your handshake (or lack of) makes or breaks your first impression and says a lot about you. Did you know that the American Psychological Association did a study about handshakes? They found that, “Those with a firm handshake were more extraverted and open to experience and less neurotic and shy than those with a less firm or limp handshake.” It was an interesting study, actually. They had “handshake coders” go around shaking 112 male and female college students’ hands and then analyzed them. Could you imagine if you were a handshake coder at church? Or even on this Frog Blog? Well, Sister Bellon, your handshake tells me you’re neurotic and shy.” Or, “Whoa, there, Brother Wells, you’re a bit too open to experience, if you catch my drift. Tone that down, will ya?” It could be an interesting side job. I’m sure every parent would be proud to tell their neighbors that little Johnny grew up to be a handshake coder. Then no one would ever want to shake Johnny’s hand again. However, it is considered bad manners not to shake hands, so we’re back to where we started.

So, perhaps the moral of this blog today would be, have a firm handshake or people think you’re neurotic, don’t go places until you know how to properly eat what is served, and don’t feel slighted if I don’t respond to each and every comment. Just know that each post is read and cherished.

Well, they're definitely read, but only some are cherished. You know who you are.


At 2/05/2009 1:40 PM, Blogger Janice said...

Good etiquette at a Blue and Gold banquet is not throwing the chicken bones on the floor. Those who eat fried chicken with a fork will be called as the next den leader. Those who throw chicken bones at the cub scouts are ready to be released from cub scouts.

At 2/05/2009 7:52 PM, Blogger Heffalump said...

I always understood that it's okay to eat fried chicken with your fingers, but I could be misinformed.
I personally don't mind people not replying to my comments. There is one blogger that emails back every commenter (as long as they have an email link to email back to) and although I thought it was cool at first, I noticed that the replies are very short and impersonal because she has many people to reply to each day. I'd rather she only replied if she really felt like it. It doesn't make me feel special to know that she is doing it out of duty.

At 2/06/2009 1:37 AM, Blogger Stephanie Black said...

I'm not so sure about the blog etiquette thing. For example, on one agent blog I read, the blogger often gets over a hundred comments on posts--how could he respond to each of them? I don't think it's rude if you don't respond to every comment.

Like Julie, I definitely appreciate it when people comment on my blogs--thank you, everyone!--but I don't always post a comment myself. And when I post a comment on another blog, I often don't go back to check to see if the blogger commented on my comment. So Julie, if you're violating blog etiquette, so am I!

At 2/06/2009 2:04 AM, Blogger Sue said...

It's definitely not necessary to respond to every comment. In fact, it's a recipe for making yourself a complete basket case.

It's nice to respond to comments when you can, but it isn't considered rude not to respond either. You do what you can. People get it.

(I will confess that I'm probably one of the worst examples out there of a blogger never popping back into her own comment trail after posting. So don't do as I do either. Just shoot for a balance.)

At 2/06/2009 11:18 AM, Blogger David G. Woolley said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2/06/2009 3:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with D.G. Woolley that Kerry knows everything. To that, she probably also knows that a limp-ish handshake doesn’t necessarily make you neurotic or shy, but can have something to do with culture. I took a Spanish class in college last semester and was enlightened to the European "finger handshake" and "air kiss", (Sorry for the quotation marks) and was told my firm Mormon handshake would be considered flat out aggressive and intimidating to the person I was greeting.

And I believe fried chicken was designed for finger use, except by those silly Europeans. I don't know this for fact, it just makes sense.


At 11/02/2012 1:42 AM, Anonymous ba dissertation proposal said...

But I’m glad Stephanie believes that about me, considering what an remarkable woman she is in her own right,


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