Having a Baby vs. Writing a Book--Guest Blogger Karlene Browning
Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Baby is Easier than Writing a Book
by Karlene Browning
When writers compare the process of writing a book to having a baby, I just have to roll my eyes and wonder. They must never have had a baby. Or perhaps, like with childbirth, the memory of the whole writing and publishing experience is erased by the joy of seeing that finished product on the bookstore shelves.
I’m here to remind everyone that writing a book is so NOT like having a baby. Having a baby is much, much easier! Right, Julie?
Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Baby is Easier than Writing a Book:
10. A baby changes and grows, and presumably gets better with age. Once your book is published, it is what it is. Plot holes do not gradually heal over with time and lame dialog is never replaced with more appropriate speech. It stays as you created it. For all the world to see. Forever.
9. There’s no such thing as in vitro novelization. Or novel surrogacy. Or even novel adoption. If you can’t create the idea yourself, you don’t get to be a proud author.
8. There is no epidural for the birthing of a book. Sorry. Not even chocolate can dull the pain.
7. It only takes nine months to birth a baby.
6. Nobody yells at you when your baby is overdue—with a baby you get sympathy and backrubs, and if you’re lucky, gifts of chocolate.
5. No one expects you to edit a newborn.
4. You get to name your baby.
3. You rarely have to present your baby in public dressed in something that embarrasses you—unless it’s a gift from your mother-in-law, and then you can change it as soon as she leaves.
2. Nobody tells you your baby is ugly to your face. Nor do they bad mouth it on the Internet.
And the number one reason having a baby is easier than writing a book:
1. No one expects you to have a new baby every. single. year. for the rest of your life.
Karlene Browning lives at Inksplasher. She is the mother of four wonderful children, three cats and a dog. She is also the proud author of Ancient Civilizations, an educational book for middle grades, and is currently gestating an entire litter of novels. As an editor and former publisher, she has midwifed many a new book, hopefully making the process a little easier for those involved.
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