Six LDS Writers and A Frog

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The Eyes of a Killer

by Robison Wells

(Robison Wells does not have much time to blog today, due to very important things that are very important. But here's a quick story.)


When I was about seven years old my mom hung a picture in my room. Every night I'd lie in bed wide awake, terrified by the evil, dark eyes of the man staring back at me. I couldn't sleep; I couldn't close my eyes; I didn't dare to hide under my blanket for fear that the murderous old man would swoop down an destroy me.

It went on like this for several days. Why did my mother insist on tormenting me like this? Did she think I needed some kind of sinister overlord, glaring at me in the darkness with his deep sunken eyes? Was he supposed to frighten me into being good?

One night I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. I leapt out of bed and yanked the picture from the wall, tearing it from the thumbtacks that held it in place. And then, to hide my sin from the dark eyes of the unholy demon, I stuffed it under the bed.

Finally, I could sleep again.

And the picture? Click here.


12 Comments:

At 4/03/2007 12:53 PM, Blogger Josi said...

LOL--that is too funny. I thought it would be Jeff Savage or something.

You are a very funny man, Rob, I hope you don't go to hell for it :-)

 
At 4/03/2007 1:14 PM, Blogger robisonwells said...

I swear, this story is 100% true. He's one spooky dude.

 
At 4/03/2007 2:08 PM, Anonymous kerry said...

LOVE IT, Rob!

My daughter -- 19 -- is still freaked out by my framed print of a Victorian little girl. Last year when we went up to SCL for the Mystery Dinner the same print hung in the hallway of our hotel. She went six halls out of her way just to keep from passing it. :-)

And let me tell you, the little girl in my picture isn't HALF as freaky-looking as John Taylor in yours! I'll try to remember not to show that particular shot to my Primary kids . . .

 
At 4/03/2007 2:42 PM, Blogger Tristi Pinkston said...

I think anyone who is that freaked out of a picture of a prophet must have some serious sins to hide.

 
At 4/03/2007 5:17 PM, Anonymous Fellfrosch said...

I shared a room with Rob for 18 years, and I ahve no recollection of this picture at all. I think he's making it up.

 
At 4/03/2007 5:21 PM, Blogger Annette Lyon said...

I used to get totally freaked out in Primary by that creepy song about the Holy Ghost. Remember the one? "LISTEN! LISTEN!" (Complete with the undertones of freaky chords insisting you listen or else.) Still gives me the heebie jeebies. Why they would compose a song for children that sounds like something Jeff would write up to keep readers up in the night is beyond me.

 
At 4/03/2007 5:50 PM, Blogger robisonwells said...

Fell, the picture only lasted on the wall for four or five days before I flipped out. Plus, it was on my side of the room.

The picture, incidentally, was not just of John Taylor--it was that picture with all the prophets.

 
At 4/03/2007 7:55 PM, Blogger Keith Fisher said...

That explains alot, but I can relate. I still have nightmares caused by innocent things I say or heard in my childhood. perhaps it would be a good subject for a book.

 
At 4/04/2007 12:06 PM, Anonymous Jennie Hansen said...

Keith, it already is a book. Sian Bessey wrote and Ben Sowards illustrated a great little book about a child frightened by the picture of a scary old man hanging on the bedroom wall in the room she is given when she visits her grandparents.

 
At 4/04/2007 12:07 PM, Anonymous Jennie said...

Sorry! The book is titled A FAmily is Forever.

 
At 4/04/2007 12:53 PM, Blogger Katie Parker said...

(wild snickering) Yeah, prophet or not, some of those old portraits make folks look downright spooky. I heard similar comments from my seminary students recently when they saw a photo of Wilford Woodruff.

 
At 4/13/2007 1:21 AM, Blogger pwells said...

Rob, that picture never hung in your room - I agree with Dan - you made it up. We never put scary pictures in your room. You boys put enough scary things there yourself. Like Dan's collection of empty toilet paper tubes...

 

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